


What we leave behind

by UnaFearless



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Armitage Hux Has Feelings, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren Fluff, Boys In Love, Canon Related, Canon divergence - Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Established Relationship, Family Bonding, Finnpoe - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Armitage Hux, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo teaches Hux the ways of the Force, Kylux - Freeform, Love, M/M, Out of Character, Romantic Fluff, Soft Kylux, Stormpilot, The Force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-01-22 11:48:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21301562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnaFearless/pseuds/UnaFearless
Summary: Hux and Ren have been a couple for some time now, when suddenly a kitten named Millicent steps into their lives, bringing out a soft side in Hux as well as in Ren.One night, when both are in a melancholic and relaxed mood, just enjoying being together, they have a little heart to heart about their lives. An idea grows and eventually becomes reality that will change their future forever.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 21
Kudos: 89





	1. Shaping the future

**Author's Note:**

> A canon divergence story; following the plotline of the movies only indirectly.
> 
> As usual I edited the text to the best of my knowledge.
> 
> There might be changes in the tags as story progresses.

  
  
  


“It's a cat.” Kylo stood next to Hux's bed looking down at the little furball lying on the sheets, cuddled up against the black pillows, sleeping soundly.

Hux was at the foot of the bed, his ginger hair still damp from the shower he'd just taken and dressed only in briefs which wore the First Order emblem. “Just look at her,” he answered softly, putting his hands on his hips. “She's only a kitten, so sweet and fluffy and delicate. And her fur is the same color as my hair.”

“I'm allergic to cats.”

“Then go to sickbay and get some antihistamines. You'll come around.”

“You're really going to keep her then?” Kylo looked staggered.

“Of course I'm going to keep her. I found her outside in the snow, shivering and almost frozen to death. I rescued her, saved her from a terrible faith. Millicent stays with me.”

Ren's eyebrows shot up. “Millicent?”

“Yes. Her name. Millicent.” Hux crossed his arms in front of his naked chest looking determined.

Kylo shook his head, an amused smile crossed his lips. “I didn't think you have a heart.”

Hux scowled hat him. “Careful, Ren.” He pointed a finger at the kitten. “When it comes to her you're walking on very thin ice.”

Kylo sneezed in response. “Told you, allergic.” He turned around and went to the door to leave Hux's quarters, mumbling: “This is not how I imagined things would go this evening.”

Hux didn't stop Ren and ignored his comment. He was totally lost in the sight of that little cat sleeping on his bed. “Don't you worry, Milli. I'll protect you and take good care of you,” he gently murmured. “The Force brought you to me. I will let no harm come to you, I promise.”

  
  


~*~

  
  


Hux was standing in the control room watching transporters coming in, along with Ren's own shuttle, landing in the main hangar of the Finalizer. Stormtroopers were running around, following Phasma's orders, their armors dusty and soiled, as was Kylo's. His dark cloak and uniform was torn in places and his mask had a few more scratches. Even from up here, even though he wore this mask and Hux couldn't make out his features, he noticed how pissed off Ren was. His hands were clenched to fists, with fast strides he stormed towards the turbolifts like a bulldozer, plowing down everything that crossed his way.

Hux shook his head, trying to suppress what he sensed so clearly coming from the dark Knight: Rage, confusion and a certain vulnerability.  _ Pain _ . Whatever had happened out there on this mission, it had left a deep impression on him. 

  
  


*

  
  


After things had finally slowed down Hux was able to retire for the night. When he entered his premises he found Kylo lying on his bed, only wearing black briefs and a tank top, holding Millicent and gently caressing her. Hux still sensed pain in Ren gnawing at his soul. “There you are,” he said, took off his uniform jacket and plunged down on the bed next to him and the cat. “I see you've already made friends with her.” The kitten looked up at him, purring and licking her muzzle.

“Thanks to the medical treatment my allergie is in check now. Milli's so cute. I fed her, hope you don't mind?”

“No, I'm glad you took care of her. She doesn't need to be alone all day long.” Hux reached out and touched Ren's cheek. “I'm glad you're here, too. I've missed you. Did everything go well on that mission, are you alright?”

Ren lowered his gaze, resting his head on the pillow, his big hand never stopped caressing little Millicent. He gave no answer to Hux's question.

Sighing, the General lay back staring at the ceiling. “What happened? I can sense your turmoil, you know.”

“I know.”

Gazing at Kylo with concern Hux said: “Then talk to me. Please, darling.”

Ren exhaled and gave in. How could he resist when Hux called him  _ darling _ ? “I saw my mother,” he finally conceded.

Surprised Hux's eyebrows shot up. “Oh,” was all he said.

“Yes,” Kylo went on, closing his eyes. “She was just standing there staring at me. I don't even know if it was really her. It was … it was so … surreal. She reached out to me in the Force, I sensed her love, pure and so strong.” His voice broke and he opened his eyes. “After all that happened she still loves me.”

“Well, that's what mothers do,” Hux replied, facing Ren and sliding closer to him, careful as not to scare Millicent away. “My mother loved me but she didn't have a chance against my father. That's the tragedy of my life. Now she's gone and I would give anything just to see her once again.  _ You _ have that chance.”

The pain Ren felt rippled through the Force and Hux clearly sensed it, strong and unmistakable. All the guilt, the regret and the hurt inflicted on his soul. Kylo Ren was strong with the Force, not to speak of his physical strength, but deep within him he was as fragile as a delicate flower. “Sometimes,” Hux began and pushed back a strand of black hair from Kylo's forehead, “I am sick and tired of all this. The First Order, Snoke, all the responsibility on my shoulders, constantly being threatened by death and destruction … at times I just want to run away, somewhere, and live a peaceful, quiet life. Wouldn't you want that too?”

“You don't know how much,” Ren replied, a dreamy expression in his eyes. “I could be Ben Solo again, living free and with the Force as it was always meant to be. I wouldn't have to struggle anymore, could just be me.  _ We _ could finally be together, you and I. Really together, in love.”

“In love—” Hux repeated and moved even closer to Kylo, putting an arm around him. Milli meowed because she didn't have enough space anymore between them and climbed over Hux, jumped from the bed and went into the dayroom where she made herself comfortable on the couch. “Now we scared her away,” Hux gazed after Millicent until she was out of sight.

Kylo wrapped his arms around him, putting one hand in the small of his back. “She'll be fine,” he whispered. “She would have fled anyway, with us getting busy and all …” His lips were already on Hux's mouth, kissing him fervently. 

Hux kissed him back, sloppy, deep, tongues licking and swirling. It was a sweet and arousing kiss that took his breath away. Shoving his hand under Kylo's shirt he felt his bare, warm skin. Hux's heart raced, desire rushed through him, hot and gripping. He wanted Kylo so much. At some point the kiss ended and Hux made a disappointed sound. 

“Would you do it? Walk away from all this, start anew, somewhere on the edge of the galaxy? Would you?”

Hux swallowed and thought about Kylo's question for a moment. “You know those are treasonous thoughts. Enough to get us imprisoned if anyone found out that we're actually talking about this. It's desertion you speak of.”

With a determined expression Ren said: “I am dead serious, Armitage. Would you do it? Come with me and leave everything behind? Just think of it, we would finally be free of all obligations. No more battles to win, no war to fight. We could live our own lifes and truly be free. You and me, together.”

“We'd be nothing but renegades until they find and execute us. That's not the kind of freedom I'm looking for,” Hux answered and propped up on his elbow. “You forget that Snoke is very powerful, more powerful than you. He would always find us.”

“No he wouldn't. I know how to trick him, he really taught me well, I have to say. He'd never find us.”

Hux remained sceptic. But just the thought of it, him and Ren setting off on an adventurous journey with unknown outcome … he admitted, it was tempting. But did he actually dare do it? This here, his work for the First Order was all he had, it was his whole life.

“You're force-sensitive,” Kylo continued softly. “I could teach you, show you the ways of the Force and all you can accomplish with your abilities. We could do whatever we please, no boundaries, nothing to hold us back. The galaxy would be our playground, the possibilities are endless.” Ren became agitated, getting more and more into this idea. “We wouldn't have to hide our feelings anymore and would simply be lovers, a normal couple like all the others out there. Wouldn't that be something?” He smiled now with tears in his eyes. “Wouldn't it be worth it, sweetheart?”

Considering all Ren had said Hux came to the conclusion that he was right. Yet, he forgot about one thing. “Kylo, I'm a general of the First Order, all my life I worked only to get there. It took a lot of pain, blood and sweat. Its all I have, my work. What am I without it? I can't just leave on a whim. I'd be a deserter, that's lower than nothing. It's not how I was raised.”

“As far as I know you were forced into your ‘career’. Someone made you in his own image and in the end you even exceeded him.” Kylo grabbed for his hand, gently interlocking their fingers. “It's time for you to be yourself, don't you think?”

Now Kylo had him. The allusion to his father brought back unpleasant memories and an uneasy feeling rose in the pit of his stomach. Hux suppressed the memories that were emerging with all his might. “This is a decision I cannot make easily,” he finally answered. “There’s too much at stake for me, and for you.”

“Whatever's at stake I don't care. I'd do it gladly, in a heartbeat, with you by my side.” Ren looked at him urgently for a moment. “Of course we'll take Millicent with us,” he continued casually. “Even I can't bring myself to leave a helpless kitten behind.”

Hux's face lit up, his eyes began to sparkle. “I wouldn't even consider our little escape if we left Millicent. Not ever.”

Effusively Kylo embraced Hux, pulling him on top of himself. “So it's set, we're doing it?”

“Say we do, then there will be no turning back, right?” Hux rested his head on Kylo's chest, feeling his strong arms around him, listening to his heartbeat, and suddenly he realized something: As long as he was with Kylo things would be alright, for Kylo was all he needed.

  
  


~*~

  
  


In the next few weeks they talked a lot about their plan, everytime they were together on one of their secret trysts. Many things were to consider, one of them was the right timing for their disappearance. It had to be inconspicuous and they had to make sure they didn't leave any traces. So they thought everything through, laid out a concept, went over it a hundred times until it all fit and they could start to set everything in motion. Nobody would suspect anything. 

Even their fucking had become more intense over this period of time, Ren as well as Hux were under great pressure and all that tension had to get out somehow. They had to appear as normal as ever to everybody while planning out the escape from the First Order and Snoke. Millicent was their only haven of peace, the little baby cat giving joy and relaxation when they both needed it most.

Finally, day X came.

Kylo received a message from one of his Knights. They heard of a rare Sith artifact on a small planet in the Unknown Regions and they needed his help to find and retrieve it. At the same time Hux had an incoming transmission from the  _ Fulminatrix _ . Captain Peavey needed his help with a unit of new recruits for the stormtrooper program.

Ren and Hux requested a meeting with Supreme Leader Snoke to inform him about their missions and that they did not know how long their absence from Starkiller would last. Snoke was not amused about this and asked questions but in the end gave his okay since the construction and completion of the super weapon would not be in jeopardy and continue as planned. Of course he was curious about the artifact the Knights of Ren had found out about since he collected such rare items, therefore encouraged Ren to go on the hunt to find it.

After the meeting Hux and Kylo silently went to their quarters, fetched a few personal things, Hux taking Millicent under his arm, then they headed towards hangar bay and boarded Kylo's black command shuttle. When Phasma asked Hux why he didn't take his own ship he gazed at her intently, sensing her confusion and suspicion. “It's alright, Phasma,” he said in a soothing tone. “Supreme Leader approved of it since Ren will meet up with the Knights of Ren at the  _ Fulminatrix _ .” Feeling the Force surge through his body he was able to project his will onto Phasma who suddenly stood at attention.

“Of course, sir,” she replied with conviction. “Save travels.”

Five minutes later the shuttle left Starkiller Base, ascending into the atmosphere of the icy planet. They were to encounter the freighter of the Knights of Ren at specific coordinates far away from Starkiller and the Fulminatrix. There they'd exchange Kylo's conspicuous shuttle for another one the Knights had already procured. This would give them a good head start before anyone noticed that something was wrong.

  
  


*

  
  


Hux sat in the copilot seat next to Ren who punched in the coordinates for their destination. Gazing forwards into space Hux looked upon all the stars and the far galaxies in this vast cosmos. For the first time in a long time he felt fear again. It was the uncertainty of not knowing what the future would bring. “That's it now,” he said with a weak voice. “The turning point in our lives, is it not?”

Wistfully Kylo looked at him. “Yes, that's it. You're not having second thoughts, do you?”

“No.” Hux shook his head. “Let's do this. No looking back, only heading straight forward.” A few seconds later they jumped into hyperspace.

Holding Millicent in his arms, Hux buried his face in her soft and fluffy ginger fur to hide the tears trickling out of his eyes.

  
  
  


_ To be continued … _


	2. Call of the past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you, this story is different and I kind of enjoy writing it. Warning: It turns out to be a bit more fluffy then I intended, but hey, fluff is ok even with Kylux, isn't it? 😉
> 
> As usual I edited to the best of my knowledge and hope it's readable. There might be tags added or changed as story progresses.
> 
> Also, I hope you enjoy this fic.

  
  
  


** _Tydiria_ **

** _A few month later … _ **

  
  
  


“The New Republic is no more!” Hux called enthusiastic, voice sluggish from too much alcohol. He was sitting in a tavern which was sparsely populated, raising his glass filled with Tydirian whiskey. “The First Order will prevail!”

Aki the bartender, a native of this planet with huge black eyes, yellow skin and a snout that looked like a short, round trunk tried to calm him, scanning the room if one of the few other guests might feel disturbed because of what Hux said for everyone to hear. “You better not talk about the First Order unless you have a death wish,” he warned him. “People here don't want to have anything to do with that regime.”

“Oooh …” Hux replied and gulped down his liquor, slamming the empty glass on the counter. “_That regime?_ At least the First Order brings stability, order and prosperity. Can you say that from the New Republic, Aki?” He bent over the counter and pulled at the bartender's trunk. “This government was weak and useless just like the Galactic Republic was before the Empire took over.”

Aki scoffed: “You're totally drunk and talking crap. I better call Kylo, he'll bring you home. This is a decent place, we don't want any trouble here.” The bartender turned around and left through a door in the wall behind the counter.

Hux chuckled, grabbed for the bottle and drank greedily, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand when he'd finished it. “It was my weapon that obliterated the New Republic,” he mumbled, now laughing proudly. “I constructed it. _I._” He had hiccups by the time Aki came back. “My … hicks … weapon,” Hux told him, slamming his palm flat on the counter.

“Ey,” Someone suddenly patted his shoulder and Hux turned his head to face him. It was one of three guys that were sitting in the back of the tavern who he'd noticed immediately when he came here. The man was tall, blond and blue eyed, dressed in expensive Tauntaun leather with aviator glasses sitting on his forehead. “You need to step it down a bit. Bartender is right, we don't want to hear anything about the First Order here. If you're so fond of it join the stormtrooper program, they're always looking for recruits.”

Hux only sneered at that Sleemo standing before him and clenched his fingers into a fist.

In this moment Aki came back. “Your boyfriend will be here any minute.”

The guy smirked and raised his eyebrows. “Your boyfriend? So, you're that type of–” He wasn't able to finish the sentence because Hux's fist collided with his face. The man staggered backwards by the power of the blow, his friends who witnessed the scene laughed loudly.

“Come on,” Aki tried to appease. “Don't start a fight now, we're all grown ups here!”

Yet, Hux hopped off his stool, had to catch his balance before he was on the guy again, grabbed him by the collar and hissed: “You better watch your mouth, Mr. Fancy-Pants.” And again he slammed his fist into him, right into the stomach where it hurt.

The man gasped and writhed, stumbled backwards and landed on the wooden floor. By this time his friends had jumped out of their seats and came running towards Hux who already waited for them with a devious grin and raised fists. Just what he needed, some action in this boring backwater planet.

Right then Kylo stepped into the tavern. “Hux,” he roared and hurried over to him. “Enough.” Grabbing him by the arm he pulled him back. “We're going now.” First he gazed at the man on the floor who was holding his bleeding nose, than at the other two dudes standing there with a scowl, ready to finish the fight. “Don't you see that he's dead drunk?” he called and pushed Hux protectively behind his back. “Whatever the problem is, he won't remember anyway. No need to start a fight, just leave him be.” With these words he put some coins on the counter. “Sorry for the inconvenience,” he told Aki and with uncompromising determination he pulled Hux with him out of the tavern.

Outside Ren let go of him and Hux miraculously sobered up and turned all business. “These fellows are the targets,” he said while they walked across the street where a few trees and bushes would provide enough cover for them. Out of his jacket he pulled a datapad and showed Kylo the pictures of the three men. Kylo nodded, reached for his blaster and released the safety. Hux did the same and they hid between the bushes and waited.

“Why do you always pick a fight? Can you not even once do a job clean and without causing a commotion?” Ren grumbled and threw a sideways glance at Hux.

“Apparently not,” Hux replied calmly, never leaving the tavern out of his sight, his blaster ready. “I'm just bored as hell, that's all. And they are going to die anyway.”

Kylo rolled his eyes and sighed deeply but didn't say anything. He had to focus on the task at hand.

It didn't take too long until the three men stepped out of the tavern, talking and laughing, walking towards the parking lot to get to their speeders. Hux left his cover, aimed at the guy he'd given the smack down and fired. A direct hit at the head and the man went down like a felled tree.

The others frantically drew their blasters as they realized what was going on. Immediately they opened fire at Hux but Kylo used the Force to stop the shots in mid air. He and Ren were a good team by now, having done this many times in the past months. Word spread across this sector of the Outer Rim that they were the best and most skilled bounty hunters one could find. They made good credits, that was for sure, and of course it was a huge advantage to have one of the strongest force-users by your side.

When the guys noticed that all their firing was to no avail they looked puzzled and stopped shooting. Suddenly their blasters were ripped out of their hands by the sheer will of Kylo who sent the weapons flying through the air until they landed only inches before Hux's feet. Now they panicked and wanted to run, yet, Kylo stepped out of the bushes, walking towards them with an outstretched hand, paralyzing them on the spot.

Hux followed him, still aiming at the men and passed by the blaster bolts sizzling and buzzing in the air. Kylo forced the two down on their knees with one move of his hand. Hux sensed the immense power of the Force and it gave him the shivers as always. He'd never get used to this sensation, this feeling of raw power within Ren. The Force abilities he himself possessed were but an inkling of those from Kylo. It was so amazing.

The men looked up at them, apprehension in their eyes, fearing for their lives. They whimpered and whined as Hux approached them, aimed the blaster and killed both of them with a shot to the head, one after the other. No conscience bothered him, this was just a job. One, Hux had grown to enjoy more and more over time.

  
  


~*~

  
  


After handing over the bodies to the alien that had hired them they received their bounty and made the long way back to a little wooden house, a few hundred klicks outside of the city boundaries, where they had made a home for themselves and Millicent. 

Tydiria was a small and unimportant planet in the far reaches of the Outer Rim with no noticeable resources. The First Order simply didn't have any interest in it that's why there was no presence of it out here. Hux and Ren at last lived the life they had been searching for, right here in this little, snug place.

The house wasn't very big, but not so small either. There was a bedroom, a 'fresher, a well equipped kitchen and a living room. It was surrounded by trees and lush meadows, the next neighbors lived kilometers away. There was nothing but quiet and peace, nobody ever came by. It seemed as if in fact they were the only people in the whole wide universe. 

By the time they got the house it was already nightfall, the sun setting in all shades of orange and violet. They stashed away groceries and other stuff they'd bought in Tydiria City (the largest town on this planet), fed Milli and prepared a meal to satisfy their hunger too. After dinner Kylo went outside, sat in the grass and watched as the three moons of Tydiria rose in the night sky. It was his favorite time of the long days here on this planet. Hux joined him a few moments later which made it perfect for him. Silently they observed the spectacle, a facile wind playing with their hair and the moons pouring a silvery light across the trees and the grass. 

“I sense restlessness in you,” Ren softly said. “What is it?”

“Don't you feel this dark presence?” Hux replied with concern. “I feel it all the time, lurking in the Force. What if it's Snoke? What if he has found us?”

“Yes, I feel it, but it's not Snoke. It's something very old and even more menacing than him.”

“Even more? What is it? It gives me the creeps because it's there constantly.”

“It's pure darkness,” Kylo answered and a shadow crossed his face. “There's nothing we can do about it but ignore it. Whatever it is someone else will have to take care of it. We no longer play a part in the fate of the Galaxy.”

“I know you're right, still, it drives me crazy.” 

“Don't pay attention to it, let it linger. It can't hurt you. Trust in the Force.” Kylo gazed at Hux for a moment, the copper color of his hair looked different in the moonlight which brightened the night and the whole landscape lay in a mysterious, semi dark gloom. Touching Hux's chin Kylo tilted his head and gave him a kiss. He heard a meow and then a soft purr as Millicent joined them and jumped on Hux's lap who ended the kiss before it really began.

“I trust in it,” Hux replied and stroked Millicents soft fur. The cat had grown, become heavier, but was still playful and very cuddly. “Yet, this presence frightens me. I think it influences me somehow, my behaviour, as if it tries to lure me in.”

“That's what the dark side does. You have to be careful not to let it consume you.” Kylo moved and crossed his legs, gazing at Hux. “Come on, let's meditate. You still need more practice handling the Force.”

Hux sighed, took Millicent and put her in the grass beside him where she sat and watched as he also crossed his legs and rested his hands on his knees. “Alright, let's get started.”

Kylo waited until Hux was ready and closed his eyes, then he closed his own eyes and took in some breath, focused on the Force. It was simply there, the living Force, and it was flowing, hovering, lapping, pervading everything. Ren gathered it, using it to look into Hux. He saw everything, his fear, his love, his courage, the force bond between them. Kylo opened his eyes. “Well, let's start with something easy: protecting your mind from intrusion.”

“You call that easy?”

Kylo simply shrugged with a smirk on his face.

  
  


*

  
  


For about an hour he practiced with Hux who was making good progress. His force abilities weren't very strong, he never had the chance to get proper training to develop them to their full extent, but they were pretty helpful for the work as bounty hunters – the only possible way for them to make a living out here.

Hux was able to sense feelings and emotions in people, he knew when someone was dishonest or lying. Also, he was able to manipulate others into doing what he wanted, which was pretty neat. All Hux needed was more practice, so those abilities would become second nature to him, also in the cloaking of his mind which was important. Snoke wouldn't be able to track them down so easily. That's why Kylo, as soon as they had settled on this planet, started teaching him in the ways of the Force. It was essential to Hux that he learned all he could to use it the right way.

“This is enough for today,” Kylo said and scrambled to his feet, looking at the horizon where the lights of the far city brightened the night. Then he saw her. Again. His mother. She was just standing there, a few feet away, gazing at him. Ren noticed the concern in her face, the worry in her eyes. She reached out a hand towards him. He heard Hux talking but it was far away, barely audible. At the moment Kylo didn't care, he concentrated only on the image of his mother.

Hux stood next to him, snapping his fingers in front of his nose. “Hey, Ren, I'm talking to you.”

“Do you see her?” Kylo just asked absently, still looking at Leia.

“See who?” Puzzled Hux looked about but they were definitely all alone.

“It's my mother,” Kylo replied, still focused on her image. “If you can't see her then she's not a force projection.”

“What are you talking about?”

Ren's gaze shifted to Hux. “I think she's trying to make contact.”

“Who? Your mother?”

“Yes.” Now Kylo sounded impatient and seemed upset. “I have to find her.” He turned on his heels and walked back to the house.

Hux followed him, not very pleased. “So, you see your mother and all of a sudden you need to find her? How come?”

“I don't know,” Kylo retorted and sat down on a console in the corner of the living room, switching on the computer.

Hux stood behind him with his hands on his hips. “What are you doing?”

“I told you, I'm trying to find my mother.” He turned his head and looked into Hux's eyes. “There's something wrong, I feel it.”

“Well, go ahead then,” Hux sounded annoyed. “I hope you know what you're doing. I'm going to bed.”

  
  


*

  
  


For almost two hours Ren tried to find Leia Organa, used transmission codes he still remembered, tried to detect Resistance bases and outposts. Yet, nothing. No one answered, nowhere was any indication leading to the rebels. They where darned good at covering their traces.

He searched the HoloNet for hints, but all there was were news about the annihilation of Hosnian-Prime and the New Republic, it was flooded with reports. Over two billion people died, just gone in one strike with the superlaser of the First Order. Well, Hux sure had built one hell of a weapon. 

Kylo searched for names of the deceased but, of course, listed were only names of officials and politicians. So he checked those and gladly, the name of his mother was not on it, neither was his father's. Well, his father wasn't a politician or anyone in an important position anyway, and he didn't think that he'd even been there. Han Solo probably was out in the galaxy doing what he did best: Flying the Falcon and running con jobs.

And now Kylo realized he was no better than him. He was worse. Always had been since he turned to the dark side. But he didn't really care, all he wanted right now was to find his mother. Maybe, if he was lucky, she would really talk to him, and listen.

However, he was just about to turn off the computer when all of a sudden there was an incoming transmission. Coordinates and a location. Kylo stared at the message. It came from Leia Organa. His heartbeat quickened, she had answered his call.

After Kylo had turned off the computer he went into the bedroom. Hux was lying there, only half covered with a blanket, Milli cuddled up next to him. While Kylo undressed he savoured the sight of him, his creamy skin, the ginger hair, the profile of his face and the curve of his sensual lips … quickly he slipped under the sheets, snuggled up against Hux's back and put one arm around him.

Hux moved and took his hand, holding it close to his chest. “Did you find her?” he asked in a thick, sleepy voice.

“Yes. I will go to her tomorrow.”

“You really think this is a good idea?”

“I have no other choice. There is something wrong, why else do I get visions of her? I need to go to her.”

“It's a trap,” Hux replied upset. “They'll imprison and maybe even execute you. It's the Resistance for Stars sake, they'd be happy to get their filthy hands on us and you know it.”

“Armitage, she's my mother, she won't execute me. I'm going, whether you like it or not.”

Hux turned towards him and looked straight into Kylo's eyes. “It's too dangerous.”

“I have to take that risk.” Kylo turned away from Hux, letting go of his hand and looked at the window where two of the three moons were visible through the pane. Hux was right, it was risky and unsafe. Yet, his mother called out to him and she wouldn't stop until he went and talked to her. Leia Organa's stubborn head was notorious and whatever was going on he would only find out if he went.

He heard a deep sigh coming from Hux and his nasal voice saying: “Alright, we'll go tomorrow then.”

“We?”

“Well, I won't sit here and let you walk straight towards your doom alone.”

A broad grin spread across Kylo's face as he turned back to Hux and wrapped his arms around him enthusiastically.

  
  
  



	3. Dawning of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short update, enjoy anyway. 😊
> 
> As usual I edited and revised to the best of my knowledge.
> 
> Thanks for Kudos and feedback, much appreciated! 😙

**Dawning of Love**

  
  


Millicent was wrapped in Hux's arms, who was dressed in dark cargos and a turtleneck. He was talking softly to her, telling her she'd be alright and they would be back soon, that Aki would look after her from time to time to make sure she had enough food and water. Accusingly he looked to Kylo who was dressed in dark red leather. “This is your fault. She's still so young and she will terribly miss us.”

Kylo was packing some things for their journey and chuckled when he heard his words. “I think you're talking about yourself. Milli is very well capable of taking care of herself. She's gone all day anyway only coming back in the evening. No need to worry.”

“You heartless bastard,” Hux shot back. “You don't care a bit about her.”

Kylo turned to face him. Seeing Hux like this, so miserable because he had to leave his cat alone for a while made him sigh and he grew weak. He went over to him, sat down beside him and took Millicent into his own arms. The cat licked his hand with her small, rasp tongue and gently patted her head. “I'm not a heartless bastard, but we can't take her with us,” he said looking at Hux. “Of course I will miss her too. We won't be gone very long so stop pretending as if you would never see her again.”

“I'm just nervous,” Hux admitted. “I have a bad feeling about this trip. There's a warning in the Force.”

“I feel it too, but we know something's coming and are prepared. Let's just get it over with and we'll be back here in no time.” He put one arm around Hux and pulled him close. Millicent jumped to the floor, meowed and walked towards the door where she sat down and meowed again because she wanted to go outside. Yet, Hux was already busy kissing Kylo. As usual he was in the mood when Hux least expected it, like now when they were just about to leave. 

Simply taking what he wanted when he wanted it, and each time Hux was carried away by the fierce storm that was Kylo Ren. They couldn't get rid of their clothes fast enough. Sweet kisses from the softest lips made the blood rush through his veins. Rough hands touched him in a way that instantly made him forget that there existed an outside world. Even after being together for such a long time, to be with Ren always felt like the first time. Added to this was a strong bond between them in the Force, so intimate and pure. Hux knew this was something special and unique, therefore he treasured it above all else.

Kylo fucked him hard and demanding until his head rang and fireworks exploded and then, absolute and overwhelming tenderness. All the love he was capable of Kylo showered upon him, softly whispering his name and other sweet things, using the Force to heighten the experience to an incomparable extent. It was all Hux wanted, all he needed. Completely engulfed by Kylo's insatiable desire he moaned and screamed and gasped, existing in a place beyond all reason where there was only warmth, love and devotion.

When this sensual storm finally was over Hux lay on Ren's broad chest, totally relaxed and satisfied. His heart was racing, he was sweating, his body still heated up. He was right where he wanted to be, there was no better place in the universe then the strong arms of his lover. “Did I ever tell you that I love you?”

“No.”

“Well, I do. I've never loved anyone before and I'll never love anyone else in my life.”

  
  


*

  
  


After their little quality time they freshened up, hopped in the speeder and went to Tydiria City Harbor where their freighter waited for them. They ran a full check up on the ship before they boarded and drove up the systems. Twenty minutes later they made for orbit and jumped into Hyperspace.

“Do you think we did the right thing, running away from the First Order? Or do you have any doubts, sometimes?” Hux asked Kylo. “I mean, we're about to enter the lion's den, a Resistance base in the Mid Rim. Also, Snokes grip reaches far, it's a dangerous venture.”

“I don't have any doubts and I don't give a shit about the galaxy. I could've ruled it if I'd killed Snoke, but at what cost? Constant war, hate and suffering? _ Losing you _? I rather live like this, free and together with you. All we have to do is wait until it's all over and we're finally free. I ain't never going back.”

“Ruling the galaxy was all I ever aimed and lived for. I worked my butt off and did what I had to do to get this far, rise up in the ranks of the First Order and become General, second in command. I would have gone even further, ready to kill you and everybody who stands in my way. Do whatever is necessary. Ruthless and unscrupulous when it comes to striving for more power, that's who I am. But then … you and me happened. I thought again and I just didn't want to live like this anymore. Now I don't know my place. I like bounty hunting but ... it was never my life goal. I am struggling with this new life.”

Ren gazed at him. “I know, sweetheart.”

Hux looked at the controls and sighed. “Yet, what I said to you this morning is true. It's more true about me than anything else.”

“The Force, it brought us together. You feel it don't you, the bond between us? I've never felt it with anyone and now, here we are.”

Hux nodded. “As if you're a part of myself, the other half that was always missing.”

“Another reason why I wanted to get away from the First Order. I grew tired of all the bickering, wanted to get to know the real Armitage Hux.”

“I thought you liked our little quarrels?”

“I hated them.”

“I loved them. It spiced things up.”

Rolling his eyes Kylo looked at the control screens. “They would've destroyed everything between us, eventually. I think it's fine the way it is now. There's enough spice in our relationship, thanks to bounty hunting.”

“And do you like the real me?” Hux wanted to know with a twinkle in his eyes.

“I love it. You're so different now and the Force within you has grown. I don't regret anything, Armitage.”

Gazing into Kylo's dark eyes Hux beheld the sincerity and the truth of his words. A few seconds later they jumped out of hyperspace and looked at a planet with a mostly green surface. Trandosha.

“We've arrived,” Kylo said and seemed nervous punching in the landing coordinates that were sent to them.

“Do you really want to do this, meet your mother after all this time? We can still turn around and go back.”

“No,” Kylo replied, his voice sounding flat and strained. “I need to do this.”

“Well then,” Hux sighed deeply and prepared the ship to enter the atmosphere. “May the Force be with us.”

  
  



	4. You can't just kill the past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual I did my best editing this chapter, hope it's readable.
> 
> And much thanks for the feedback and all the Kudos, really appreciate it. ❤ 
> 
> Have fun with the new upload!

**You just can't kill the past**

Hidden in the jungles of Trandosha, located at a mountain range was the Resistance base where Kylo and Hux landed between X-Wings, freighters and transporters. Some of them were older models but still in good shape. When Ren and Hux exited their ship they were immediately surrounded by armed rebel fighters, the barrels of their blasters pointing directly at them.

“Told you,” Hux said to Kylo. “Not a good idea.”

A man of average height with brown curls and big brown eyes stepped forward with his hands on his hips, suspiciously gazing at them. “Who are you?”

“Such a warm welcome.” Kylo scoffed and stared back him. “I'm Ben Solo, and who do I have the pleasure with?” 

The guy frowned and took a closer look at him. “Name's Poe Dameron, Commander of the Resistance fleet. Don't I know you from somewhere?” His gaze shifted to Hux, taking a good look at him too. His eyes widened when he recognized him. “You,” he said pointing a finger at him. “I know you. You're that First Order General. General ... what's the name?”

“None of your business,” Hux replied stiff lipped and crossed his arms over the chest.

“Take him and throw him in a cell,” Poe ordered. To Ren he said, “Follow me.”

The guns were taken down, two guys came up to Hux and handcuffed him. Ren immediately stretched out a hand and force-choked Dameron. “You'll uncuff Hux at once and take us to General Organa.”

Poe was hanging in the air, a few inches above the ground, his hands on his throat but there was no way he could do anything about this invisible energy which cut off his airflow. Desperately he was gasping, face already as red as a tomato.

“Now!” Ren demanded. 

Dameron was grunting and trying to breath, yet he managed a gesture with his hand for the other rebels to take the blasters down.

When they finally retreated Kylo let go of Dameron who dropped down on all fours, frantically drawing in breath and coughing. 

“You see, I'm Leia's son and she awaits us,” Kylo hissed.

Puzzled Dameron looked up at him. “You're Leia's son?” he asked, his voice all raspy.

The next moment Kylo felt a hard hit on his head. He gasped in surprise as pain exploded in his brain, his eyes shifted to Hux who looked as stunned as himself. Kylo heard him calling his name and then everything went blank. 

  
  


*

  
  


The first thing Kylo saw when he opened his eyes was his mother. Leia Organa-Solo stood a few feet away, leaning against a desk with her arms folded in front of her chest. She looked a little older then he remembered her, the lines around her dark brown eyes had deepened and her brown hair had strands of grey in it. He'd almost forgotten how short she was in person, small and delicate but definitely not weak. She had inherited her father's stubbornness and strong will, was in fact Darth Vader's daughter. Mixed emotions ran through Kylo, it was an awkward situation. He felt delighted to see her again, on the other hand there was an obvious distance between them. The result of almost a decade without any contact to each other. 

“Finally you're awake,” she said concerned, gazing at her son with alert eyes. “I'm sorry for the inconvenience. I hope your head doesn't hurt too much?”

Kylo wanted to touch the sore spot on his head but noticed his hands were restrained behind his back. With a deep breath he looked about the room. They were in a dusty office stuffed with all kinds of things. Datapads on shelves, outdated consoles and two deactivated droids in one corner, a broom and cleaning utensils in another. No windows, the only light coming from a lamp on the ceiling. It looked as if they were inside the mountain and he was alone with Leia. “Where is he?” Kylo asked and fear for Hux made his blood run cold. “What have you done to him?”

“Who, your friend? He's save in one of our prison cells.” Leia answered firmly, eyes fixed on him.

Kylo scowled at his mother. “If any harm comes to Hux, just the slightest, I will raze this base to the ground,” he threatened.

“You really care a lot about this General.”

His eyes were shooting daggers at Leia. “Yes I do, he means everything to me. Anybody lays a hand on him and they're dead.”

Leia's features hardened, her lips turned into a thin line. “I understand. Well, no need to worry, I gave order to take care of him, give him food, water or whatever else he desires. We would never deliver someone to their certain death, you should know as much. Although, we could hold him prisoner until the war is over then put him to trial.” She paused for a moment before she went on. “But, I wanted to talk to you alone and no one will lay a finger on him, so that's that. I'm sorry about the failed welcome. I already told Dameron and Finn off, they're on extra duty for the next two weeks.”

“Just great,” Kylo mumbled annoyed and yanked on his restraints. “Can't you take these things off?”

His mother moved until she was behind Kylo where she released his wrists from the durasteel shackles. “Ben,” she said softly and put a hand on his shoulder. “All I want is for you to come back. You're my only son and I terribly miss you.” With a clunking sound the cuffs landed on the floor where Leia just dropped them, then she circled the chair until she stood before Kylo and took his face between her hands. “Look at you, you're a grown man now and so handsome. Just like your father.”

Kylo saw the tears in her eyes and sighed. “I don't want to talk about all this and definitely not about my father. You called me here for a reason, so speak up. What is it you want?”

“I want my son back.”

“Then you shouldn't have sent me to Luke. Do you know that he tried to kill me?” Upset Ren jumped out of the seat, looking down upon Leia, who suddenly seemed scared of him because she took a cautious step backwards.

“No he didn't! Luke would never–”

“Oh yes, he did. While I was sleeping, can you imagine? And  _ you _ were the one who sent me to that Jedi Temple, to  _ him _ !”

“This is even worse than I thought,” Leia mumbled to herself and shook her head in disbelief.

“Well, what did you expect? It's not like we're a storybook family.” Now Kylo really got going. “Your career always was more important to you than your own son, especially after dad left. Did you really think that all this wouldn't hurt me, that I still would be a happy kid? My father was gone. You were gone, sometimes for weeks. I felt alone and frightened all the time with only a protocol droid as company. All I ever could rely on was the Force and that darkness within me. Yes, the darkness. And it got worse when you sent me to uncle Luke.” With fierce eyes he gazed at Leia. “I am not the only one who made mistakes, don't blame me alone for it all.”

Leia lowered her gaze and sighed. “I don't, and I know very well I did everything wrong when it comes to you. I sensed this darkness in you even before you were born, I only did what I thought was right. Just wanted to help you, like your uncle. When your father left I was suddenly a single mother trying to keep everything together as best as I could.” Her big brown eyes were pleading. “We have a lot to talk about Ben, but now is not the time. There are more pressing matters–”

“As usual everything else is more important than your own family,” Kylo shot back, turned away from her, walked over to the corner in which the deactivated droids stood and regarded them contemplatively. He'd seen the remorse in his mother's face, sensed it through the Force, as well as the undenying love she felt for him. “Go on, say what you want to say.”

“The Resistance needs your help. We can provide shelter, a home for you and ...” Leia struggled a bit with herself before she continued. “For you and Hux. Give us all the information we need about the First Order and Snoke. Help us, Ben. We can't do it alone. My Force abilities are not experienced enough but you, you know all about it. If you'd only be willing to help us we could win this war.”

Kylo snorted bitterly. “You haven't changed a bit, Leia,” he spat. “Even using me now, your own son, like you do with everyone else just to gain an advantage.”

“Who else can I ask if not you?” She rested her hands on the desk and genuinely looked at Kylo. “I don't care what you have done during your time with Snoke in the First Order. It doesn't matter to me, you were manipulated and bossed around just like your grandfather was. Yet, I was never able to forgive him for what he did to me.” Leia paused for a moment, pondering and reflecting, her eyes distant and full of pain. Taking a deep breath she continued. “But I can forgive you because you are my son. Nonetheless, this doesn't mean I approve of what you did, or that I can understand it. I can't. But we have all the time in the universe to make amends and work it all out when this is over. We can find a way back together, Ben. I know you still love me and your father, I feel it in my heart. Right now we have to fight the evil rising in the galaxy. There's a girl - Rey - she is like you, very strong in the Force but she needs training. You can teach her.”

Kylo swallowed hard and crossed his arms. “Well, then she can safe the galaxy and Luke can train her. I don't want to have anything to do with it. I've made my decision.”

“Okay, if that's what you want,” Leia replied with a sigh. “But Luke has vanished. We can't find him anywhere, that's the reason why I called for you. We need Luke Skywalker and if anyone can find my brother it's you.”

Annoyed, Kylo exhaled. “Luke's a Jedi, if he doesn't want to be found you can't find him.”

“We have a piece of a map which leads to him but it's not complete. We don't even know which part of the galaxy it is. Maybe you can help with that?” Her dark brown eyes rested upon Kylo and she looked so very helpless in this moment.

Kylo contemplated for a while if he should really do it. Of course, gazing at his mother, at her face that was so full of desperation, her eyes imploring him, he gave up in the end. With a sigh he answered: “Alright, I'll see what I can do.”

Leia let out a relieved breath and a smile crossed her lips. “Thank you.”

“There's one thing though,” Kylo said. “You'll release Hux immediately. I want him with me, by my side. Can't have him imprisoned, he's been through enough already.”

Leia nodded and activated her ComLink. “Poe, get General Hux at once, bring him to the assembly room. And Poe, he's no prisoner, he can move freely.”

“But–”

“Just do as I say, Commander. We finally get the help we need.”

  
  



	5. Resistance chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, finally I wrote the new chapter. Of course Ren and Hux are facing a chaotic time at the Resistance. 
> 
> Have fun reading. :)
> 
> (As usual I edited it to the best of my knowledge, hope it's readable.)

**Resistance chaos**

The assembly room was packed with all the glorious rebel scum, a mixture of aliens and humans from every corner of the galaxy. All of them had only one goal: Stop Snoke and defeat the First Order. Hux sat next to Kylo around a huge table, Leia Organa was on the opposite side, the scavenger, Rey, stood next to her. Hux sensed her power through the Force, the same immense and pure strength as Kylo's, untamed and wild. Also, the darkness that lurked within her.

Open mouthed Hux just stared. She was pretty, slender and very feminine, with big green-brown eyes and brown hair tied to three knots at the back of her head. His gaze shifted to Kylo who watched her closely, eyes narrowed, and Hux knew he was analyzing her. Looking straight into her head, her soul, trying to find out everything he could about her through the Force.

Hux observed the crowd and noticed a black guy - his name was Finn - sitting next to Dameron. He was the one who had knocked out Kylo with a blaster hilt. Finn scowled at him with cold hatred in his eyes. Well, this feeling was mutual, he himself would love to jump at Finn's throat and choke him with his bare hands. Not only because he was the one who'd hurt Kylo and knocked him out, but also for how he'd treated him on his way to the prison cell. Bruises on his torso and a split lip where the fruits of this treatment. He also looked very familiar as if Hux had seen him before somewhere but couldn't quite put his finger on it.

However, he would never join this bunch of scumbags, not for anything in the galaxy. Hux was pissed. They'd even blindfolded him before they locked him up, only because he'd used the Force on one of those Sleemos and made him dance the Wiggle Jiggle until he tripped over his own feet and broke his nose on the duracrete. Just thinking about it again made Hux smirk, it had been fun.

When he entered the assembly room just a few minutes ago and Kylo looked at him and noticed his injuries Hux literally saw the rage in him spraying into the Force like hot poison. Balling his hands into fists it took a lot for Ren to restrain himself and not explode into one of his tantrum fits. Quickly he hurried over to him. “What happened? Leia assured me you'd be alright.”

“It was Finn, the guy who hit you on the head when we arrived,” Hux murmured in his ear. “For some reason he hates our guts.”

Dazzling dark eyes rested on him with a look of remorse. “I'm so sorry, this is my fault,” Kylo whispered back. “You didn't want to come here and now I've dragged you into all this.”

“Don't worry, I'm fine. You can make it up to me when we're back home.” There was a mischievous twinkle in Hux's eyes. “Just make it quick, I hate it here. Too much rebel scum for my taste.”

  
  


*

  
  


“Poe, show us the map,” Leia said and the pilot pushed a button on the Holoprojector. A moment later the hologram of a partial section of the galaxy appeared above the table and everyone looked at it. “Ben,” Leia said and gazed at her son, then at Hux. “General, can you tell us something, anything, that gives us a clue what part of the galaxy this could be?”

It felt strange to be addressed with his former title after so many month. Somehow he liked that, after all, he was a General, indeed. So, Hux scrutinized the map and tried to make out anything which would tell him a location, a certain planet, anything. He leaned forwards, contemplating while biting his lower lip. “I bet these are the Unknown Regions. What do you say?” Questioning he looked at Kylo, raising an eyebrow. 

Kylo nodded. “Pretty certain they are,” he answered. “But since the Unknown Regions aren't charted it's hard to tell which sector or system it is. Could be anywhere.” He leaned forward and focused, gathering the Force. Silence passed through the room as Kylo closed his eyes and concentrated, all eyes on him. It took a while, a very long while, until he finally looked upon Leia. “I know where Luke is.”

  
  


*

  
  


After the meeting was over everyone went to their stations to prepare for the next attack on the First Order. Leia asked Hux and Kylo a few more questions which they answered as far as they could and were willing to, telling her everything that could really help the Resistance. Yet, the most delicate things they rather kept to themselves. No need for the rebels to know about weapons of mass destruction or detention camps for non compliant soldiers, citizens and governments.

The meeting room had emptied at some point, but Kylo was still sitting thoughtfully at the table, Hux next to him, nervously drumming his fingers on the tabletop. “Thank you,” Leia said softly and gazed at her son. “You helped us a lot today, both of you. I appreciate that very much. You've done the right thing.”

“The right thing to do would be to get in our ship and get the kriff out of here,” Hux said with a certain sharpness in his tone. “Like you promised.” This sentence was addressed at Kylo.

“He's right,” Kylo said, gazing back at his mother. “We're leaving, you've got what you want.”

Leia put a hand on Kylo's shoulder. “Please stay, we might need more help. Besides, I would love to spend more time with you, after being apart for such a long time.”

“I knew it.” Hux snorted annoyed and rolled his eyes.

Sighing, Kylo shook his head. “Better we leave, it's too dangerous to stay. If Snoke finds us the First Order will raze this base to the ground, nobody will survive.”

“Just one more day. Please.” Leia's brown eyes implored him.

Defeated Kylo exhaled. “Alright.”

“Hey,” Hux hit him on the shoulder and furiously stared at him. “You said we were leaving.” When he saw Kylo's apologetic look he threw his hands in the air in a dramatic gesture. “Excellent, just excellent,” he scolded, jumped out of his seat and stormed off.

“See, what you're doing Leia?” Kylo said and glared at her accusingly. “At least whistle back your people, they should leave him alone for as long as we're here.”

“I will,” Leia answered. “Now go take care of him, we'll see us at dinner.”

  
  


~*~

  
  


The dinner had started well, but ended in a disaster. Kylo furiously entered the guest room and found Hux only half dressed on the bed, a bottle of whiskey in his hand. He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at him, his rage vanished instantly.

Hux was tipsy, his red hair a complete mess, but his naked torso, long legs stretched out on the sheets, stirred Kylo's cravings at once. In this moment, Hux seemed to him like an arkanisian god carved out of alabaster, he was so handsome. Yet, the bruises on his body and the swollen and partly blood-crusted lower lip made him look vulnerable. Kylo hated that they'd done this to him, especially because of all he went through.

“Oh, you're back.” Hux gazed at him, raising the bottle to his mouth and taking a good sip. “How'd it go? Did you celebrate your reunion properly, you and _ mommy _?”

The hint of lust vanished as quickly as it had come. “If you call yelling at each other and having endless debates about my behaviour and state of mind a proper reunion then yes, it was a complete success.” He took his jacket off and just dropped it on the floor. His shirt followed and he flopped down on the bed next to Hux where he laboriously pulled his heavy boots off his feet which then also landed on the heap of clothes. “And not only did I have to deal with my mother, but Rey and Dameron as well. And to top it all my father joined us, whom my mother had contacted without telling me about. She thought it would be a nice surprise. Well, she thought wrong.”

“I didn't know this was going to be a bloody family reunion.” Hux growled and took another sip of his liquor, handing the bottle over to Ren. “Here, I think you need this more than I. Well, are you ready to go back home now? I miss our cozy little hut, and I miss Milli.”

Kylo took the bottle and swallowed down a few sips, then put it on the nightstand. “First thing in the morning we're out of here. I'm done with all this, just like with the First Order.”

“You know,” Hux muttered, put his arm around Kylo and pulled him close. Instantly his hand wandered over Kylo's soft skin, caressing him tender and seductive. “After you left earlier for that family dinner, I meditated. I wanted to practice a little of what you taught me about the Force, but I couldn't really focus. I know I'm not a good man. The First Order was all I ever knew, my father … well he did his best to make a ruthless, cruel, vicious and sadistic person out of me and he succeeded. I enjoy torturing. I like killing people.” He raised his head and looked into Kylo's dark eyes. “But the Force, I felt it more intensely than ever before this time. It showed me something.”

Kylo kissed his cheek and then his lips, very tender. “What did it show you?”

“It brought us together. I can never be cruel with you, it would break my heart. I know now that I'm not lost.”

At once Kylo's desire was back with full force. “As if you could ever be lost when you're with me,” he whispered and crashed his lips on Hux's mouth, kissing him ferociously, quickly opening his pants and yanking them down. He wanted Hux bare and naked to roam his body without hindrance.

“Fuck me Ren,” Hux whispered against his lips, his fingers buried in Kylo's black mane. “Make me forget where and who I am and everything else. Just for a little while.”

  
  


~*~

  
  


Hux woke when he heard a knock at the door. His head still rang from last night—too much alcohol and too much fucking. Kylo stirred next to him, groaning sleepy.

A second later the door opened and Han Solo entered the room, followed by Chewbacca. When the Wookie saw Kylo and Hux lying naked on the bed he threw his hands up in the air. “Woaaar, ooeeeer!” he cried out and quickly left the room again.

“Told you, you shouldn't come in, Chewie. Of course they're naked.”

“Eeeeeeeooor!”

“No, you're not going blind just because you saw naked humans,” Han barked after him. All of a sudden he felt something cold at his temple and heard a clicking sound as the safety of a blaster was released.

“What are you doing here?” Hux stood next to Han, as naked as the Force had created him, pointing a gun to his head.

“Hux,” Kylo called from the bed where he sat up now, yawning. “That's my father. Put that thing down.”

“Oh, okay,” Hux shrugged, secured the blaster and threw it on the bed. “Well, don't be surprised to have a weapon pointed at you if you're simply bursting into peoples rooms. I'll go take a shower.”

Han watched Hux as he went into the 'fresher. When the door slid shut after him he gaped at Kylo. “I don't know what you see in this guy. He's awful … like a corellian weasel. I don't like him.”

“You don't have to like him. So, what do you want?”

“Your mother,” Han said, came to the bed and sat down, picking up the blaster and inspecting it. “She left after dinner last night to find Luke. Let's hope he comes back with her, we really need help.” Accusingly he looked at Kylo, as if saying: _ Yeah, you could help too if you only had the balls to do so _.

“Don't look at me like this, Han,” he snarled. “It doesn't work. You've never been a father to me, you were _ never _ there. We don't have the kind of relationship that would justify you telling me what to do and what not. You're like a total stranger to me.”

“Yes, yes, I know and I'm sorry, and also for last night. I shouldn't have—”

“Right, exactly. You shouldn't have said all these things. All I heard from you and everybody else were accusations.” Kylo jumped out of bed, putting his hands on his hips, not caring that his father could see him buttnaked. “And now please leave. I'll contact Leia later. Hux and I are leaving as well.”

“Good Force, can't y'all just sleep with at least some briefs on?” Han turned his head away because he really didn't want to see _ all _ of his son, then he got up and walked to the door. “All right, do this. Don't let your mother suffer again like she did for the last decade. I'm serious, Ben.” He turned his head once more to look into Kylo's dark eyes. “She's missed you more than anything in the galaxy. Me too. I love you, regardless of what you think of me.” With these words he finally left.

Shortly after Han was gone Hux stepped out of the 'fresher. “So, that was your _ daddy _? I've met your entire family now. How lovely.”

“You haven't met uncle Luke yet,” Kylo replied with a sneer. “The last actual Jedi in this galaxy.”

Hux rolled his eyes and grabbed for his clothes to get dressed while Ren went to take a shower.

  
  


*

  
  


Kylo and Hux walked across the landing field heading for their freighter. Everybody was busy with something, nobody paid attention to them. Except for Rey who approached them as soon as she saw Ren, Finn standing a few meters away, watching with a scowl. “Ben,” Rey called. “Are you really leaving?”

Kylo stopped and turned around. Hux kept on heading towards their ship. 

“You can't go. Not until Leia and Luke are back.” With big eyes she looked up at him, loose strands of brown hair framing her face.

“My mother knows I'm leaving. I can't be a part of this, I don't want to. She knows.”

“But—”

“Look, I ran from the First Order to be free. I'm a deserter, yes, but I won't be a defector.” Kylo's eyes were on her and he sensed the Force within her, strong and unfiltered, like yesterday at the meeting. The light in her was blinding, she didn't even know what powers were slumbering inside of her. “You,” he said softly, his eyes never leaving her face. “You are the one that can save this galaxy. You have it in you. Use the Force. Don't be afraid of Snoke, he is nothing. Prepare for the true evil that will rise, then you shall have fear.” He blinked his eyes a few times and stepped back. After a moment he just said, “I've got to go.”

“No, wait,” Rey grasped his arm and held him back. “What do you mean by all this? What evil shall I fear? I don't understand.”

“May the Force be with you.” Kylo just turned around and left. He wanted to be with Hux. Just get out of here, back to Tydiria and be gone from all this madness. The freighter's hatch was open and Hux was doing a checkup on the hull when suddenly TIE Fighters appeared in the sky and fired at the base. Kylo looked up then sprinted towards Hux, screaming, “Get in the ship!”

Hux gazed up into the firmament where one laser bolt after another rained down on them. An X-Wing standing nearby exploded, the shockwave almost yanking him off his feet. He was petrified, couldn't move. When Kylo finally reached him he saw plain horror in his eyes. “It's Snoke. He found us. We're dead.”

“Not yet.” Kylo grabbed Hux by the collar and pulled him along into the ship. “Get the engines ready,” he shouted to pull him out of his numbness. “Now!” Quickly he closed the hatch then took his seat at the controls. Fortunately, Hux did what he was said to do and the ship was ready for take off in no time. The shocks of the cannon fire shook them, but two minutes later they were in the air on their way to orbit, dodging the TIE Fighters and the bombardment.

As they entered space they beheld three star destroyers hovering in space, close to the planet; the _ Fulminatrix _ , the _ Retribution _ and - the _ Finalizer _.

Hux stared through the viewport at the massive First Order dreadnoughts. “There she is, my ship,” he whispered. “The Finalizer.”

“Yes,” Kylo replied through clenched teeth. “There she is, but she was never your ship. She belongs to the Order.”

“But she was the only real home I ever had.”

Now Kylo was staring at Hux. “Now is not the time to be sentimental. Look, they just despatched another squadron. We gotta get out of here.” He prepared the hyperdrive and punched in the coordinates of their destination when the ship was suddenly hit by the turbo lasers of an attacking TIE Fighter. Ren cursed under his breath as they spun sideways, but he was able to stabilize the freighter again. “Dammit Hux, I need your help!”

Yet, Hux just sat there as if paralyzed, couldn't move one bit out of fear they would be captured and brought before Snoke. He didn't want to die. Not yet. _ He did not want to die _.

“Hux, I need you here with me. We have no backup and we gotta get away fast before we're nothing but dust!” When Hux still didn't move and just stared apathetically at the Finalizer Kylo snorted angrily and took things into his own hands. He had no other choice, the TIE's fired on their ship and the shields wouldn't last long. He gathered the Force and focused, sensing the blasts coming even before a laser was fired, maneuvered the freighter into position and bombarded everything in front of its bow.

  
  



	6. The next step

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I finally managed to write a new chapter, it is short but .. here it is.
> 
> A couple of days ago I've seen TRoS, and tbh it was a bit disappointing to me. I couldn't really write on the fic before I've seen the movie, now that I've seen it and know how it all ended I can finally continue with it. 
> 
> I can only say how lucky we are that there is fanfiction. We can write the stories the way we want them and that is exactly the case with this fic. Again, it is a little ooc, only canon related and people might stay alive that died in the movies. I love it! 😊
> 
> So, I hope you like this chapter even though it is short. (The next one shouldn't take too long.)

**The next step**

Ren and Hux had only made it through the battle alive because Han had come with the Falcon to cover them. So, in a favorable moment, they'd jumped into hyperspace and gotten out of the situation.

During the hyperjump Hux was silent, only sitting in the copilot seat, head in his hands. Kylo sensed his confusion, the conflict within him with which he was struggling. “Speak to me, Armitage,” Kylo's voice was soft and he tried to get Hux out of this apathetic state. “What's wrong with you?”

Hux gazed at him, lost and tormented. “I should've never left the Order.” And that was all he said for the rest of the ride.

  
  


*

  
  


Finally they were back home again. When they arrived at their lodge it didn't take long and Millicent came, meowing and rubbing her soft fur against Kylo's legs. He picked her up and greeted her. “Hey there, ginger fur. Missed me?”

Hux snatched Millicent out of his arms, went a few meters and sat down on the grass, putting her into his lap. 

Kylo left him alone. Hux was just confused and fighting his inner fight, which he sensed clearly, so he went into the house and took a shower. Afterwards he put on fresh clothes, dark trousers and a long, brown shirt with a hood. He stood in the day room for a moment, thinking as he looked at a chest in the corner. He knew what was in it. Of course he knew.

Kylo went and opened the chest. Inside were his lightsaber and helmet. He hadn't touched the sword since their flight from the First Order. Taking it out he looked at it for a moment, ignited the buzzing crimson blade and swung it a few times before deactivating it again and putting it aside. Ren reached into the chest again, this time deeper, until he felt a coarse fabric under his fingers. He pulled out a tied bundle and went cross-legged in front of the chest. Slowly Kylo opened the leather cords around the bundle and unfolded it. Swallowing he looked at his first lightsaber, the one he'd used then as a Padawan in his uncle's new Jedi order. Kylo had assembled it himself and forged it, and how proud he had been at the time, after its completion.

He picked it up and looked at the metal hilt, unable to ignite it because it no longer contained a Kyber crystal. It was now in his crossguard. Shortly after Kylo went to Snoke he'd built his new sword, put the Kyber in it and made the crystal bleed, turning the blade red. It was his first real step into the dark side of the Force, willing the crystal to serve him. The process had taken a lot out of him and he would only go deeper into darkness. Back then Kylo knew immediately there could be no turning back anymore.

The encounter with his mother and father had hurt him more than he admitted. It was impossible to kill the past because no matter how hard you tried, the past always caught up with you. He wasn't even able to call his mother  _ Mom _ or his father  _ Dad _ . It felt too strange after all this long time.

Sighing, Kylo got up, took his old lightsaber, and went outside to Hux, who was still sitting on the lawn, Millicent on his lap, looking into the distance. He seated himself next to Hux and looked at him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Hux shook his head negatively. “I just want to be alone.”

“I know what you're going through. Talking about it would help.”

“You don't know anything,” he snapped at Kylo. “You have no idea what it is like to have no place in life.”

“So that's your problem?” Kylo felt Hux's pain and anger. He wanted to hug him and hold him tight, but in this condition Hux would only have pushed him away.

“Oh fuck you, Ren. The First Order was all I had,” he yelled at him. “I should never have run away with you.  _ Never _ ! And then the Resistance, you belong there, to your mother and father, they all love you. And they wanted me killed. So how am I supposed to feel?”

“You can't go back, you'd be executed on the spot.”

“I know that myself.”

“But you thought about it all the way back here.”

Hux didn't answer, but he hung his head and took a deep breath.  “I'm just feeling useless.”

It hurt Kylo's heart to see Armitage so tormented. He reached for his chin and forced him to look at his face. “You have a place, sweetheart. It is here by my side.” Kylo's voice was gentle and soft. “You and me, Armitage. I'm not planning to join the Resistance.”

Hux's blue eyes looked at him desperately. “I have a dull feeling that things will not go well for us.”

“Do me a favor and don't lose faith.  _ Never _ lose your faith in us.” His eyes went deep into him at the words. “ _ I _ believe in  _ us _ .” With that said he let go of Hux's chin and reached for the saber, holding it up to his nose. “I think it's time for you to learn to fight with a lightsaber.”

Hux frowned and looked at the thing in Kylo's hand. Hesitantly he reached for it, turned it to all sides and then wanted to ignite it. When nothing was happening he looked at Kylo with an eyebrow raised. “Excellent. You're giving me a dead sword.”

Kylo smiled, amused. “No, it's not dead. But it will be yours. We're going on a little trip to Dantooine.”

Hux frowned again and looked puzzled. “And what do we want on Dantooine?”

“You'll get a Kyber crystal there.”

  
  
  



	7. Breathing Through

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As it seems this pandemic occupies my mind more than I like. I'm worried and struggle with anxiety, as I'm sure many of you do too. Nonetheless I try to distract myself as much as I can, but it's not working too well.
> 
> Yet, at times I find my muse and write a little bit. Now I got a new chapter for y'all, nothing special, think it's a cute one with a hint of pushing the story a little forward. ;) Hope I can write more soon, believe me I really try. 
> 
> Please, stay safe y'all, don't catch the virus, stay at home if you can. Much love to all of you! ❤

**Resistance Base**

  
  


In the battle with the First Order the Resistance suffered many casualties, a few of their X-Wings were destroyed and one of their cruisers was badly hit. Han Solo was fixing the Millennium Falcon (that had gotten some serious hits) with the help of Finn. “We were lucky this time, unprepared as we were. Next time they might show up with the Supremacy.”

“What's a Supremacy?” Han gazed at him questioningly.

Finn just stared back for a moment. “You don't want to know,” was all he finally uttered.

Han shrugged and didn't press the matter any further. “Still, they caused too much damage,” Han growled. “We have to abandon the base and find another location. Fast. We were able to buy us a little time, but they'll definitely be coming for us again soon.”

“I know,” Finn sighed. “If only Rey and Leia were here.”

“Already contacted Leia. She's ... uh … kind of busy. But she'll get back as soon as possible. I'll send her the coordinates of the new location when we arrive.” He pointed a screwdriver at Finn and smiled. “Better pack up, we're leaving in a few.”

Chewbacca stuck his head out the hatch and howled. “Rrrreeew! Aaaarrrrl!”

“Okay, okay,” Han replied in his direction. “I'm at it.”

“Drrrrooow, ewrrrr.”

“I know we don't have time, I'm working as fast as I can.”

“Hey Finn!” Poe Dameron stood a few feet away, waving to his friend. “I could use your help with the weaponry.” To Han he said, “You don't mind, do you?”

“No, go ahead. Me and Chewie will fix the rest.”

  
  


*

  
  


In the armory Finn and Poe stowed all kinds of blasters, rifles and grenades in boxes and carried them to a transport ship. The rest of the base was also busy, everyone doing their work as quickly as possible so they would be ready to leave in a couple of hours. Admiral Holdo had ordered to cover all tracks so the First Order wouldn't be able to find anything if they decided to come back. That's why Poe and Finn deleted all data and files in the systems, and also attached bombs at certain points in order to destroy the base after leaving it.

Two hours later it was done, the base abandoned and blown up, the members of the Resistance on their way to a location in the Outer Rim, a planet called D'Quar.

Finn and Poe were steering the transporter with all the weapons, following the Raddus. They had about half an hour before they would reach one of the hyper routes to the D'Quar system. “Why don't you enter the hangar bay? They'll jump soon.” Finn pointed toward the Resistance flagship in front of them. 

Dameron turned to face him, resting one hand on his thigh. “I wanted to talk to you about Rey. What is this? You're constantly after her, not letting her out of sight. Even now you're distressed and worried about her. What's up, you have a crush on her? I mean, totally understandable, she's cute and all, but I think it's a little too obvious.”

Finn sighed and lowered his gaze, avoiding Poe's eyes. “I don't have a crush on her, I just … I need … since the first time I met her there was something between us. I don't know what it is, but it's there. Somehow I have to … protect her, like a rare treasure or so … I have the feeling if I don't the galaxy will be lost.”

“You got a crush on her, buddy.” Poe chuckled, then shook his head. “Rey is very well capable of taking care of herself, you know.”

Finn looked at him and frowned. “I don't have a crush on her and I know she can take care of herself, yes. But I can't help it. Rey needs me anyway.”

Dameron padded his shoulder with a compassionate gaze. “No she doesn't.” Poe put his hand on Finn's neck and looked deep into his dark eyes. “But I know someone who does need you. Who can't get you out of his head since day one.”

Puzzled Finn gazed back at him. “What are you talking about?”

Without hesitating Poe leaned forward, his mouth covering Finn's in a soft kiss. “Don't be so surprised,” he whispered against his lips. “I'm sure you knew all along.”

  
  
  


**Tydiria**

  
  


Kylo sat in the grass in front of the house, his back against the wall, watching Hux swinging his lightsaber, repeating the moves he'd taught him earlier. He needed training now to get a feeling for the weapon, for the crystal and its connection to the Force and how he could use it. The green blade hummed and the movements were smooth and skilled. It was a joy to see him like this, like a little boy who'd just discovered an exciting new toy. Soon Hux would be able to properly fight with his saber.

Looking down at his hand Kylo opened it and gazed at a small, clear and shiny Kyber crystal in his palm. He'd plucked it in the cave on Dantooine. The crystal had called to him, even now it was whispering and he sensed its Force connection. The light, it was still there inside of himself, as much as there was darkness. It would always be like this, it had been so since he was born. When he left the new Jedi Order and met the Knights of Ren he had chosen the darkness. Working for Snoke had shown him what it meant to embrace the dark side of the Force. Yet, the light had never left him. Never. The more he'd suppressed it and tried to get rid of it for good the stronger it had pulled him back. Sometimes this fight had seemed hopeless, had cost him a lot of strength, many times to the point of total exhaustion. These times were over now, he didn't need to fight anymore and he saw in Hux the same changes. As if leaving the First Order and getting away from Snoke lifted the shadows and they were finally able to breath again.

Ren closed his fingers around the Kyber. “I know now that you belong to me,” he whispered. “But you have a dark brother you'll have to get along with.” Because he knew that the darkness would also be a part of him forever. 

“What you got there?” Hux sat down next to him, holding the lightsaber hilt in his hand and looking at it from all sides. “This thing is awesome, why didn't I get it earlier?”

Kylo smiled. “You weren't ready yet.”

“Really? Well, I love this weapon and I'll cherish it forever, because it once was yours.”

Hux's turquoise eyes locked with his, Kylo was caught in this gaze and knew that in his life he never wanted to lose this man. Hux was the one good thing that had happened to him. The former First Order General wasn't perfect and they had their differences, yes. Yet, he'd fallen for him precisely because of this. The fire and ferociousness of his temper kindled his desire every time, as if they'd met for the first time.

“So, what is this in your hand?” Hux smiled and simply seized his wrist. “Let me see.”

Ren opened his hand and showed him the crystal.

Hux looked surprised when he saw what was in Ren's hand. “You found one too.”

“It called to me so I took it. I'll have to reconstruct my saber so I can put it in there, maybe craft a double blade, one side red, the other … well, I guess with this crystal the blade will be blue.”

“Double blade … now, that sounds interesting.”

Kylo sat closer to Hux and leaned his head against his shoulder, took his hand and interlaced their fingers. In this moment Kylo was happy. There was a peace inside of him he hadn't felt for a very long time.

“So, we have a new mission?” Hux wanted to know, pointing to the data pad lying next to Kylo in the grass. 

“Yup. Coruscant,” Kylo replied. “A _ businessman _ wants to get rid of his _ competitor _.”

“Who's the competitor?”

“A spice dealer roaming his area, getting in his way, killing people and jeopardizing his _ business_.”

“That's a risky mission.”

“True. Yet, knowing you it's just the kind of mission you're looking for.”

“You know me too well.” Hux smirked. “Well then, off to Coruscant it is.” In this moment Millicent came by and crawled into Hux's lap, cuddling up against him. Immediately he started caressing her soft ginger fur.

“You know,” Kylo whispered against his cheek. “You're not the only one having a hard time to adapt. Sometimes I even doubt if we did the right thing.” He sighed and gazed down at Milli. “But then I realize how peaceful it is now, how free we really are, finally. How much weight is lifted from us, at least to a certain point. I feel your love for me all the time, Armitage. It's draped around me like a soft and warm blanket, easing everything.”

“What you don't do for love …” Hux gazed at Ren, putting one hand in the back of his neck. “I know you did all this because—”

Kylo didn't let him finish the sentence and kissed him. An endless kiss full of devotion and Kylo whispered sweet things while tasting Hux, pulling him closer and holding him tight. And Hux gave all this to him in return. For the first time in a very long time Kylo felt blessed by the Force.

Until he sensed a disturbance. With eyes wide open he abruptly ended the kiss, gasping and troubled.

“What is it, my dear?” Hux wanted to know, looking at him full of concern.

“Something … happened,” Ren stammered and couldn't hide his distress. “Something really bad ...”

  
  
  



	8. An Unexpected Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally I'm writing again, writers block is no fun, I assure you. 😅 Yet, I'm taking it one step at a time. 
> 
> This chapter may be short, but dramaturgically perfect, and I'm happy I'm finally writing again. And I like this story especially because I can go with it wherever I want to. I love the idea of a force sensitive Hux, I can reunite or kill or bring together whomever I like, I just try my best to make this story as much Star Wars as possible.
> 
> Have fun with the new chapter.

Coruscant was still a bustling city even though not the Galactic Capitol anymore. It hadn't changed a lot since the fall of the Empire. Yet, more criminals and lowlifes were roaming the lower and even the mid regions, crime syndicates tried from time to time to take over certain parts of the city. However, Coruscant was still strong and proud and its government one of the most established in the galaxy

After Hux and Ren had met their client they went to a bar and had a bottle of Corellian whiskey while discussing how to find their target. As always they needed a plan and had to start somewhere. Yet, Kylo wasn't at it, he was unfocused and drinking too much.

“Are you even interested in doing this job?” Hux wanted to know and raised an eyebrow. “You don't talk much, you're brooding and not being very helpful at the moment.”

Ren gulped down another glass of whiskey before answering. “We're all doomed, Hux. With her gone the galaxy is at its end.”

“Who's gone? What exactly are you talking about?”

This time Kylo didn't even bother with the glass but took the bottle and brought it to his mouth. After drinking he wiped his lips with the back of his hand. “Hope,” he answered and looked as if he was about to burst into tears. “You must have felt it too yesterday, this disturbance in the Force?”

“Yes, I felt something unpleasant, but … I just swept it aside the way I usually do with unsettling thoughts or emotions. A small mechanism I have acquired to protect myself and keep my sanity.”

“You can't do this anymore,” Ren replied determined. “You need to stay alert at all times. Listen to the Force”

“I have enough to do with cloaking my mind, it still costs me a lot of energy and concentration. And now tell me, what's this disturbance? You know something, so, spill the beans.”

Kylo glanced at him with an expression as if he'd bitten into a lemon. “I'm not sure, but I felt something … I think someone died.”

Hux's eyebrows shot upwards. “And who? C'mon Ren, spit it out. Why do I always have to pull everything out of your arse?” But then, like a wave of light he felt a presence, very close and overpowering. Everything around him vanished. The guests in this joint, the music, the buzz of voices, it was as if he was standing in a long tunnel where all he could do was focus on this one strong presence. He noticed Kylo feeling the same way. Ren straightened his back and his eyes where alert. Turning his head Hux followed his gaze to the entrance of the bar, his jaw dropped to the ground when he saw who was standing there, who was the source of this overwhelming power he sensed.

Luke Skywalker himself.

All of a sudden he felt a rage, cold overflowing anger that poured out of Kylo Ren. Like a stone wall it hit Hux with full force. Kylo's hatred for that man was shockingly profound, he hated Skywalker with every cell of his body.

For a long while Luke and Kylo just stared at each other, no one made a move. Kylo's dark eyes where full of hate and scorn for the Jedi, and the Jedi's where full of sadness, apologetic and pleading. Total opposites. One was pure and sparkling light and the other a deep consuming darkness. Hux's heart was beating against his ribs, he moisturized his lips with his tongue and didn't even dare to breath. He could only hope that Skywalker and Ren wouldn't kill each other. However, when Luke stepped back again, vanished into the darkness outside of this bar, Kylo without hesitating jumped from his seat and ran after him, hand on his lightsaber hilt.

Hux sighed deeply, put some coins on the counter and followed him. How Skywalker had found them and why he was here he would surely find out soon enough.

  
  



	9. Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next upload. I personally like this chapter very much as it brings a new direction which I didn't even think of before. I hope y'all have fun reading it.
> 
> I can't thank you enough for all the Kudos and your feedback, much appreciated. And very good for my motivation since I recently got over my writers block, finally. 😊 
> 
> [As always I edited to the best of my knowledge, still I hope you forgive errors in grammar or punctuation.]

**Rain**

  
  


The skies of Coruscant had opened and rain was pouring down on the city. Kylo's clothes were soaking wet, his black hair clung to his scalp. With a hand he wiped his eyes to clear his sight. The figure of his uncle was standing a few meters away under the lights of the city in front of the bar. “You,” Ren hissed through clenched teeth. “What do you want here?”

“Ben,” Luke pleaded. “Rey died during the battle with Snoke. Leia and me, we couldn't save her.”

“So? I don't care. All I care about is that I finally get the chance to kill  _ you _ .”

“Snoke is dead but there is a greater evil out there. I know you can sense it.”

Kylo didn't listen to his uncle's words, took his lightsaber and ignited it. The crimson blade hummed and buzzed, the rain drops sizzled as they hit the blade. “Come on Luke, it's you and me now! You will pay for your cowardly way to try and kill me.”

“Ben—”

“Stop calling me that,” he screamed in outrage. “My name is Kylo Ren. YOU killed Ben Solo a long time ago.” He sensed Hux's presence nearby but ignored it. This was between him and his uncle and no one would get in his way. Gathering the Force he prepared himself to attack.

“I'm sorry,” Luke continued. “It was a mistake. The biggest one I ever made, but you need to understand—”

“Understand what?” Hux interrupted him, his voice cold and unwavering. “Trying to kill your own blood kin, someone you were supposed to protect and take care of? _In his sleep_! That's inexcusable. I _will_ protect Ren with all I got, with my life even if need be. I am not afraid of who he is, unlike you _Grandmaster_ _Jedi_.” The last words he spat out with contempt.

Kylo's eyes flickered, he blinked because of the rain in his eyes. Yet, a warm feeling spread in his chest hearing Hux's words. His gaze searched him and was captured by his sight; wet to the bone, nonetheless Hux's turquoise eyes sprayed fire towards Skywalker and his whole demeanor was alert, the blaster in his hand aimed at the lonely, grey haired figure in front of them. Hux was ready to fight alongside him against one of the greatest Jedi in the galaxy.

Kylo gazed back at Luke and slowly, hesitantly, he dropped the hand with the lightsaber, deactivating it. Hux however still stood prepared, blaster ready to defend them if he must. “Say what you got to say,” Kylo hissed.

“You are right,” Luke answered in Hux's direction. “I'm afraid of Ben. His powers are extraordinary, like his grandfathers were. I couldn't do anything against the darkness rising inside him, that is my failure.” To Kylo he pleaded: “Forgive me, I know what I did was wrong and I wish I could undo it. My mind was clouded out of fear. I make mistakes. I'm a Jedi but also only a man with flaws and emotions. I was weak for only a fleeting moment but it was too late. You woke up and only did what everyone else would've done. You defended yourself. Maybe, in time, we can sort this out, but you must forgive me. We need to talk a lot, kiddo. I mean … Kylo.”

With all his might Kylo threw the Force at Luke, arm outstretched, paralyzing him. Directing the Force to his throat he slowly cut off his air supply. He sensed his uncle working against the force choke but he wasn't strong enough. Snoke had taught him well, made him strong in the dark side. Even a Jedi like Luke Skywalker wasn't able to fend him off without a struggle.

Kylo walked towards him in the rain that was still streaming down. “There is nothing to say anymore Luke,” Kylo growled and grabbed him by the collar. “For the sake of my mother, your twin, I will let you live. But you and me, we're finished. You couldn't teach me anything back then and sure as hell can't teach me anything now. I've had better teachers, and one thing I know for sure: The ways of the Jedi are no path I ever want to follow.” Kylo looked him straight in the eye. There he saw it again, like in that cursed night so long ago, this primal fear of the Dark Side that had always existed within Luke. “If you want to ask for forgiveness ask your sister. To her you need to talk and explain. I won't ease your conscience by forgiving you. Never.”

With that Kylo let go of Luke and turned around. “Let's go, honey,” he said to Hux. “We've got work to do. I need to kill someone tonight.”

  
  


*

  
  


Kylo stormed off and Hux had a hard time keeping up with him. He sensed his agony, the burning pain deep within him and it tortured Hux as much. Kylo turned into a narrow, empty alley where after a few meters he stopped, breathing heavy. With an agonizing groan he snatched his lightsaber from the belt, ignited it and swung it through the air as if he was fighting something or someone invisible.

The crimson blade buzzed and hissed, Ren hit the walls and the ground, the saber leaving glowing trails. His groans turned into a scream and in the end he hit the wall of a building with his bare fists until he fell to his knees. The saber slipped out of his hand and deactivated. Ren sobbed heartwrenching. With a few swift strides Hux was at his side, kneeling next to him and pulling him into his arms. Kylo cried out his pain, weeping on his shoulder. Hux was there for him, just holding him until he finally calmed down.

“Everything went wrong. Everything.” Ren whispered exhausted. “I'm nothing. Can't even kill the man I hate the most in this galaxy.”

“You're not nothing. You mean everything to me,” was Hux's soft answer.

After a moment Ren gazed at him with hurt in his deep brown eyes, tears glistening. Hux cupped his face between his hands and simply kissed him. And Kylo kissed him back, almost desperately feeling his lips, searching for his tongue. Teeth clashed together in the heated excitement which gripped them both within a split second.

Something inside Hux urged him on, he wanted to fuck Ren right here and now. Yet, they were still soaking wet, sitting on the cold concrete of a back alley on Coruscant and had a mission to accomplish. There was simply not enough time for that, so he fumbled on Ren's fly until it was open and freed his cock from the fabric.

With his teeth he pulled the leather glove off his hand, tossing it carelessly beside him while Ren spread his legs to make it easier for him to access. Hux's fingers curled around him, felt the silken hot skin of Ren's perfect phallus. Again he was drawn into a deep and sloppy kiss which muffled Kylo's arousing moans, making Hux fall deeper into his own desires. He wanted to make Ren feel good, make him forget the pain and the anger he'd felt before—preferably forever. All he cared for right now was Kylo.

It was over too soon. Kylo released, his face in the crook of Hux's neck, uttering the sweetest sounds. Burying his fingers in Kylo's black locks Hux whispered soothing words, just because it felt right to do so. A moment later he kissed his temple. “Better now?” he wanted to know.

“Yup,” Kylo replied, but made no attempt to break away from him. His fingers clawed the back of Hux's leather jacket, quivering from the cold and all the emotions running through him.

“Well then, can we finally get to work? We need those credits and if memory serves me right you were ready to kill someone just a few moments ago.”

  
  


~ * ~

  
  


**The Raddus, somewhere in the Outer Rim**

“She was too young Han, why couldn't I save her? Luke tried everything but by the time he killed Snoke Rey was already gone.” Leia sadly shook her head and was weeping silently in Han's arms. “Such a brave girl, she would've become a great Jedi.”

“You did your best to protect her. Snoke was too strong, don't blame yourself.” Han tried to console Leia as best as he could, but she just kept on crying.

“And Luke, he is so stubborn. He didn't talk much. Wouldn't explain to me why he left and what had happened to him. He's changed so much.”

In this moment the door slid open and Luke entered the cabin. Han turned to look at him. “You've got some nerve,” he hissed and let go of Leia to walk over to him. With his raised index finger he waved in front of Luke's nose. “I'd love to kick you from here into wild space.”

“Han,” Leia admonished and wiped the tears from her eyes. “Leave him be.”

“Well alright,” Han gazed back at her. “I'm right outside if you need me.” With another glowering look at Luke he said, “We'll have a serious word later.” and left the cabin. 

Luke sighed and slowly approached his sister with a sad look in his eyes. “I'm so sorry,” he whispered. “For everything, especially for doing wrong to your son. I failed in so many ways I don't even know how I can ever right my wrongs.”

“Did you find Ben, did you talk to him?”

Luke nodded. “Well, it wasn't much talking we did. I tried to get through to him, but … I think he'll hate me forever.” He shrugged and sighed again. “Nonetheless, our encounter opened my eyes. He was right, with everything he said.”

Leia sat down on her bed and padded the free space beside her. “Come. Sit. We have much to talk about, Luke. And maybe I can tell you a thing or two about Ben.”

  
  


~ * ~

  
  


_ Ben … Ben …  _

The whispers were all around him and in his head, continuously. Kylo turned from side to side in his sleep, muffled moans falling from his lips.

_ Fulfill your destiny, Ben. Only you can end what I started. Bring balance … balance …  _

Kylo woke with a start. He sat up in bed looking about the hotel room which he and Hux occupied for the night. It was dark and he could only perceive his surroundings vaguely.

_ Ben … _

Remembering the vision he just had in his sleep he sighed and wiped his face with a hand. He'd seen his grandfather Anakin, the proud, beautiful and young Jedi he once was before he turned to the darkness and became Darth Vader. He'd talked to him, said things that finally made him understand.

His gaze shifted to Hux who slept peacefully beside him, only half covered up. “I'm sorry, honey,” he uttered under his breath and swallowed hard. “My journey is not over yet.” Then he laid next to Hux, one arm around him, snuggling up against his back. He felt his breathing, his heartbeat, the comforting heat of his body. Inhaling his scent he gave little kisses on his shoulder and neck. “I love you,” he whispered.

  
  


*

  
  


In the morning Hux woke up alone. He searched the hotel suite, contacted the reception and asked if they'd seen his companion.

The simple answer he got was that Kylo Ren had left the building very early in the morning. Without any message or word.


	10. Imbalance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First I have to thank every reader of this story, and all who gave Kudos and left the most sweetest comments. I'm so happy that it actually is loved by some. Believe me, without your support I would've given up on the story. ❤❤ I'm glad I didn't, and tbh, I love the story myself, simply because it's a Star Wars love story. 😉
> 
> And now here's the next chapter. Enjoy.

Hux was furious. How could Kylo just leave him like this, without a word, a note, nothing. Where the hell did he go? What had happened that made him run off like that?

When Hux had left the hotel and arrived at the space station he even found that Ren had taken their freighter, leaving him stuck here. There was no way for him now to get back to Tydiria. _ You bloody fool, just wait until I get my hands on you again. _

So, as things were he had no other choice than to do the only thing he could do in this situation. He went to one of the terminals and contacted General Leia Organa.

  
  


*

  
  


Kylo stood amidst hundreds of dead bodys. The dusty grounds of Mustafar slowly came back to life but it would still take decades before the planet would flourish again and the grey-red skies finally cleared up. Ashes danced through the air and got caught in Ren's black hair while he picked the wayfinder out of the socked which stood at the foot of the ruins of Vader's fortress. Pondering he looked at the pyramid shaped device in his hand which somehow reminded him of ancient Sith-Holocrons.

He turned his head and looked up at the dilapidated castle where his grandfather had lived and suffered. Who knew what else he would find there if he just had the time to roam the remnants of this once proud and dark building. However, right now he had to take care of something else. Kylo put the wayfinder in his pocket and turned to leave when all of a sudden he made out a figure between the bare skeletal trees that had just started to grow not too long ago. His eyes narrowed as he tried to recognize who this person was. When he did he opened them wide in surprise.

Standing still, making no move, even trying not to breath, Kylo saw it was his grandfather. Anakin Skywalker's force ghost stood there and watched him with a faint smile upon his lips. His golden locks danced in the slight breeze, his cape billowed and his blue eyes were set on Kylo. _ You're not alone, _ he heard Anakin's voice in his head, _ I'm with you till the end. _

“How encouraging,” Ren mumbled to himself. “Now you even haunt me when I'm awake.” He turned around and ignored the ghost, walked back to the place where his ship was. The dead bodies on the ground he ignored, simply climbed over them, didn't give them so much as a glance. They were necessary casualties to bring him deeper into the Dark Side, closer to the true source of his power.

And Kylo also didn't waste one thought on Hux. There was no room for sentimentalities now. True, Hux would be furious at him for leaving without any explanation, without goodbye. Yet, he had prepared a path for him, there was only one place he could go now. It was a place where he would be absolutely safe, which was all that mattered.

  
  


*

  
  


Finn was sitting on the floor in his cabin with his back to the wall. Tears were running down his face, his heart was bleeding, his soul weeping. Rey was gone. It was as simple as that. Never again would he see her pretty face, her adorable smile, or hear her call his name. The grieve he felt inside was endless.

There was only one good thing about her passing—the one responsible for it was also dead. Cut into pieces by Luke Skywalker. Without Snoke the First Order couldn't oppress anyone in this galaxy anymore. Their time was over and Finn was finally free. Completely. Nobody would call him a deserter anymore. Nobody could punish him for it now. But at what cost?

Again his body shook from heart wrenching sobs as he thought of Rey. His Rey. He would miss her for the rest of his life.

  
  


*

  
  


“This bloody moron! Idiot! How can he do this to me?” Hux was ranting, restlessly pacing back and forth in Leia's cabin on the _ Raddus _. “He left me with nothing, not even a ship, can you imagine?”

Leia sat in a chair at her desk, leaning on the tabletop with her elbow, head in her hand watching Hux, listening to his endless tirades about how awful her son had treated him. “Well,” she began when Hux finally was quiet for a minute, obviously because he ran out of breath. “Now that I know every detail of you getting abandoned by my son, how can I be of help to you?”

With utter disbelief Hux looked at Leia. “What do you think? We have to search for him, bring him back so I can give him a good tongue lashing. He's your son, don't you want to find him?”

“He doesn't want to be found.”

“I don't care! Where is he? Do you know? Then better tell me.”

“You wouldn't like it a bit if I told you.”

“Do you know that he is blocking me out? I feel our bond, can still trace his Force signature but at some point everything gets blurry and … it's driving me crazy. I don't know if he's alright or in danger. I can hardly stand this.”

Leia sighed and got up. She walked over to Hux, gently touching his forearm. “I know that Ben cares for you very much, and I know that you care about him.” Her brown eyes were fixed on Hux and full of concern. “I don't approve of what he's doing, but nothing in this galaxy can change his mind. He's just as stubborn and hardheaded as his father, and also his grandfather.”

“There must be something we can do. Everything you say worries me even more. Talk to me Leia.”

“I already sent Luke after him. He's the only one who can really help.”

“Luke Skywalker?” Hux eyebrows shot up and he shook his head. “Kylo will kill him, that's for sure.”

“No he won't,” Leia replied solemnly. “If they want to survive they have to work together, whether Ben likes it or not.”

  
  



	11. Pink Whiskey

**D'Quar - Maz Kanata's Castle**

  
  
  


Hux was sitting at a table in a corner of the bar. He could've stayed in his room at the top of the castle but by no means he wanted to be alone up there now. The bar wasn't crowded yet, no music was playing, only a few aliens were sitting at the counter talking softly in accents and languages he couldn't understand. 

In front of him was a bottle of Arkanisian whiskey. Pink, spicy and delicious. He'd already drank half of it and wasn't exactly sober anymore. The strong liquid ran down his throat as he took another sip straight from the bottle. It felt warm and soothing. When the message spread across the galaxy that the Emperor was still alive, threatening all and everything, Hux knew exactly where Kylo was, why he'd left him so quickly and without a word. Kylo must have known something was coming. His powers were extraordinary and his force abilities stronger than anyone else's Hux had ever seen. Only Snoke had found a way to keep Kylo in check over all these years. 

Of course, Leia instantly called for reinforcement, deployed every army she had and left Hux here on D'Quar. “Stay here, wait for us, wait for Ben. You're safe here.” That's all she said before she took off to fight an unimaginable battle.

Hux was glad about it, he didn't want to go anyway. He was finally done with all of that after he left the First Order. No more battles. No more!

_ Kylo_. _ Come back to me. Don't leave me alone in this universe. _

Tears sprang to his eyes. Annoyed, he wiped them away but it was in vain. They just kept coming, a never ending flow of hot, salty tears.

Suddenly somebody hopped onto the bench next to him and grabbed the bottle of liquor. “Wow, the good stuff. But nothing compared to Corellian whiskey. It'll always beat even the taste of this one.”

Han Solo.

Annoyed Hux rolled his eyes. Why was he here anyway? Wasn't he supposed to fight with the rest of the Resistance on Exegol? Besides, Hux wasn't in the mood for chitchat, he only wanted to drown in self pity. Which was most contemptuous but he couldn't help it at the moment. He'd given in to the sorrow in his heart and soul. 

Han drank a good mouthful of the liquor and handed the bottle back to Hux. “Wipe those tears away, they won't help a bit.”

“Shut up and leave me alone,” Hux growled, snatched the bottle and held it to his chest, clung to it as if his life depended upon it. “You don't know nothing about me.”

“I know enough,” Han replied softly and gazed at Hux whose eyes were red, as were his nose and cheeks. His ginger hair was tousled and standing in all directions. He looked awful. Hux seemed helpless, sad and confused. “You're scared, like I am. Scared you won't see the ones you love again in this life.”

The sluices opened anew and again tears ran out of Hux's eyes. Han had nailed it. He was scared to his wits to lose Kylo. Since he woke up alone in this hotel room the other day he knew he couldn't bear to live without him. Just the thought of it hurt like a knife stabbed into his heart.

_ Kylo _ . _ Kylo. Kylo. _

An endless loop in his head and his emotions were boiling over.

_ Come back Kylo, safe and sound _ . _ I don't care how, just come back to me. _

“Have a little faith,” Han kept babbling. “The Force is with them all. I know it.”

“Why are you here?” Hux suddenly asked, his voice hoarse. “I don't need a babysitter.”

Han smiled. “I'm done with fighting. I fought this battle once before, now's the time for others to fight it. Leia, well, she can't help it. It's in her blood. She'll always fight the evils in this galaxy, so I stayed here to hold the line. Like you I'm waiting for everybody to come home.”

“Not everyone will come back though,” Hux replied weakly and sobbed.

“No.” Han whispered. “Not everyone. But the ones we love will.”

“I wish I had your optimism,” Hux replied and sniffed. The tears were still flowing but he was at a point where he didn't care anymore.

“You know kid, I was there when the Galactic Empire held its tight grip on this galaxy. I know what Sidious is capable of. I've been there.” He paused for a moment, eyes distant as if he was back in a place long gone. “But I also know what Leia is capable of, and Luke. I've seen him grow from a young man into a powerful Jedi. And I sure as hell know what my own son is capable of. Their powers combined can accomplish everything, believe me.”

Hux stared at Han. Right, he'd seen the Empire fall in front row, played a big part in it as one of the high ranked officers of the Rebellion. He had fought alongside Leia and Luke for freedom and justice back then. Han Solo also was a legend. He knew more about these things than he ever would, the HoloNet definitely had only half of the information, as well as the archives of the First Order. Many files were irrevocably destroyed over the decades. Hux sighed and with the back of his hand wiped his eyes.

All of a sudden there was a loud roar filling the bar. “Eeeaaahrrr! Ooooweaaah!” Chewbacca approached.

“What?” Han yelled back at him. “Can't I go and have a drink with a friend in distress?”

“I'm done with self pity,” Hux quickly exclaimed and carefully eyed the Wookie. “Why is the beast so upset?”

“Because I sneaked away from him while he was sleeping. He thinks he can boss me around, you know.”

Hux sceptically raised an eyebrow. 

Chewie sat down on a chair opposite of Hux and Han and slammed one of his huge paws on the table. “Rrreah. Eahh eeeorhh.”

“Oh you want to drink with us? You?” Han disbelievingly shook his head. To Hux he said, pointing to the bottle on the table with a wide grin on his face, “I'll go and get another one of these. Let's see if we can drink this Wookie under the table tonight. You up for it?”

Hux leaned back and crossed his arms in front of his chest with a sly smile. “Excellent idea.”

  
  


*

  
  


Two days later shuttles landed close by the castle. When Hux saw them he hurried downstairs, full of anticipation. They were back. Finally they were back. He only hoped Kylo was with them, alive and well.

The landing field was crowded, people hurried to and fro between the shuttles, many were injured. Hux couldn't find a familiar face. He looked around, turned his head this way and that but detected no one who was tall and black haired. He spun around, his eyes searching everywhere when suddenly someone touched his shoulder. Leia stood in front of him with a deeply concerned face. His heart stopped beating for a moment and fear ran down his spine, as cold as ice. He sensed it in her, the distress, the sadness. It radiated from her in heavy waves.

“Where's Kylo?” Hux wanted to know and grabbed her by the shoulders. “Leia, please tell me he's alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally back at writing again. Oh, how I love my boys .. well Hux is a little in distress at the moment, for obvious reasons. 
> 
> Hope you like the new chapter and as always thanks so much for the feedback and the Kudos. Very much appreciated! ❤


	12. Home

**The Raddus, sickbay**

  
  


It was quiet in the ship with only a skeleton crew operating. Too quiet. Hux sat beside the bed Kylo was laying in. He was unconscious but stable and breathing steadily. His injuries were severe and there were two new scars on his face. One going from the middle of his forehead to his right eyebrow and another one on his chin. Kylo was so pale, the bruises on his face and on the rest of his body deep violet, he had three broken ribs, a broken leg and internal bleedings. According to Leia his life hung by a thread.

So, all Hux could do was sit there, hold his hand and wait. He had already reached out with the Force to check if inside Ren was any sign of consciousness, but all he found was a tiny flame of light. _ His beautiful golden light _. There was still hope he'd come back. Hux clung to this straw and silently prayed to all the deities in the galaxy for help. “You stupid, stupid man,” he scolded in a whisper. “How could you have done this, huh? Are you happy now? You killed Sidious and your uncle died while rescuing you. You must be really happy.” A tear rolled down his cheek, the concern and fear of losing Kylo were overwhelming. “You better come back, I'm telling you. Don't you dare leave me alone here.”

Hux kissed Kylo's fingers he held between his hands, eyes closed. For the first time in his life he felt absolutely helpless. His analytic brain simply couldn't find a solution for a situation like this. Never had he loved someone before, never cared for another person but himself. And now? All Hux wanted was to have Kylo back, happy, healthy and alive. “Don't dare to leave me—” Hux threatened again, sobbed and didn't care that he was but a bunch of misery. No one else was here to witness his weakness and soon they would be home anyway, the Raddus being in hyper-jump through the Outer Rim to the planet Tyderia.

Hux had insisted on bringing Kylo back home. Leia was against it but Hux had been more than determined. To say the least, he and Leia had had a pretty heated argument which at the end he had won. When it came down to it Hux was still unbeatable, and his high-skilled military education plus his growing force-abilities helped a lot. When Hux wanted something he would get it. And right now Kylo needed to go home with him. Period. End of story. Nobody would stop him. Deep down in his soul he knew it was the best thing, the right thing to do. Kylo needed to be where he'd been happy and at peace. And Hux needed to be there with him.

Anyway, Milli was waiting for the two of them. Suddenly Hux couldn't wait to get back to their little house in the plains of Tydiria. A touch of longing fulfilled him when thinking about the wide meadows that stretched endlessly and the three moons on the Tydirian night sky. How many times had they made love under that marvelous sky, he and Kylo? Countless times and those were sweet memories Hux treasured more than he even admitted to himself. Only now Hux noticed how much he missed the place. All of this was exactly what he needed right now and he was looking forward to going home. He was certain it also was what Kylo needed to get better.

  
  


*

  
  


**D'qar**

Leia sat in the great hall of Maz Kanata's Castle where the commemoration for all the fallen resistance fighters as well as Rey and Luke was held. With a heavy heart she listened to everyone who wanted to say a few words for the deceased. _ Luke and Rey _. They were gone now and she felt a deep grief within her soul. Her brother, her twin, was now one with the Force. She still couldn't fathom it. Han was beside her and held her tight to comfort her, with Chewbacca behind them who was crying heart-wrenchingly. Even Han was weeping silently, after all, he'd lost a very close long-time friend. 

After their goodbyes Leia and Han sat in the Cantina and drank corellian whiskey. Lots of it. Silently. Many former resistance members had left right after the ceremony, going back home or starting a new life somewhere else in the galaxy. “You shouldn't have let Hux take Ben away,” Han said and gazed into his glass, lost in thoughts. “He belongs here, with us. We're his parents. He can't get good treatment on a crappy little backwater planet on the edge of the galaxy.”

“Don't think I didn't try, Han. But Hux was so determined, nothing in the world could've stopped him from taking Ben back to Tydiria.” She sighed deeply before continuing. “And to be honest, I think it was the right decision. Ben should be where he was happy, with the one that can give him that happiness.”

“But Ben was finally—”

“Ben chose his path a long time ago. I was living in agony all these years thinking I've lost our son for good. Now look what happened, he left the First Order and followed his heart. The Force is with him, and with us.” Leia took Han's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. “Have a little faith and he'll be back for good. Hux was trained by Ben and his force-abilities are growing day by day. He can help more than any medical treatment or doctor.”

“Maybe you're right, maybe not.” Han replied and poured more whiskey into his glass. “I'm still not used to … this … my son and the former General of the First Order. Someone like Hux—”

“—is apparently just who our son needs,” Leia interrupted Han. “Now cut it out and drink, that's what we're here for, aren't we? To drown our hardships in booze.”

“Actually,” Hun began slowly, “I'm still here for _ you _.” His eyes gazed into Leias, one corner of his mouth curled up into a half-smile. “I won't leave you anymore, Leia. After all this time I still love you more than anything. Finally I get the chance to tell you this.”

“I know,” was all Leia answered, gazing back at him and smiling.

  
  


*

  
  


**Two months later**

_ “You can't stay, Ben. It's not your time yet.” _

_ “I don't want to leave. I finally found peace.” _

_ “You've been here long enough, your body is healed and people are waiting for you. The Force will welcome you when your time has come. But not now.” _

_ “I don't want to go back. The dark side was all I knew until … I can't be a war criminal, can't be a hero either. I just want to be me. I want peace. I didn't destroy the Emperor by myself, I couldn't prevent Luke's death. They will have questions, how can I explain to them something that is inexplicable?” _

_ “You don't have to explain anything. It was done and that's all that counts. And now it's time for you to go.” Anakin's smiling face came into view, one of his hands gently touched Kylo's cheek. “We're always around Ben, don't be afraid. You'll never be alone.” _

_ Standing behind Anakin he saw his uncle, Luke. He was smiling and nodding reassuringly. “I'm sorry,” Kylo whispered, gazing at Luke with hurtful eyes. “You wanna know the truth, Luke? I forgave you a long time ago, I just couldn't admit it.” _

_ There was another figure standing next to Luke. It was the scavenger looking at him with a warm gaze. “Kylo ... Ben ... name doesn't matter, they're one and the same person. _ ** _You_ ** _ know both the darkness and the light. Use the Force wisely and it will all be alright. You are the future of this galaxy. No Jedi, no Sith. There is only the belief in something that is greater than us and nothing more is needed.” _

Kylo opened his eyes. Confused he blinked a few times. Where was he? Then he noticed the familiar furniture in the dim light of the bedroom he was in, and also scents and noises that he knew all too well. He was back home on Tydiria. Inhaling deeply he closed his eyes with relieve and swallowed.

Suddenly a warm hand was grasping his and a soft voice whispered, “You're back, my love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual I thank all of you readers for Kudos and feedback, believe me, it keeps me motivated and I appreciate it a lot! ❤
> 
> Hope y'all like this chapter too, next one is coming soon, promised.


	13. We belong together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the last chapter, I decided to end this story because there is everything said and told by now. 🧡🖤 Hope you like the update. 
> 
> As usual I edited and corrected to the best of my knowledge. And thank you so much for all the Kudos and feedback, I appreciate it very much and it always keeps me motivated. ❤
> 
> (Little side note: Already working on a new Kylux fic, which should be much darker than this one.)

“You're back,” Hux said again, voice low and on the verge of tears. He couldn't help himself but to kiss and squeeze Kylo's hand over and over again. Kylo gazed at him and frowned, Hux saw the lively shimmer in his dark eyes, then the surprise as he finally recognized him. A little smile curled on Kylo's lips until it faded again. He pulled his hand back and sat up. Hux just looked at him, still overwhelmed with joy and waiting for Kylo to say something.

“How long was I …?” Kylo's voice was raspy.

“Too long,” Hux replied quickly. He sat on the edge of the bed and still couldn't believe that Kylo was awake and seemed alright, just as if he'd only slept an ordinary, long and deep slumber. His black hair was tousled and had grown longer, his eyes were puffy and he looked so sweet. He was very close, his pale face only centimeters away from Hux's.

“Do we still have enough credits?”

Hux furrowed his brows. “What kind of question is this from someone just waking up from a coma?” Hux answered with a counter question. “I'm not someone throwing around money carelessly, you should know that!” His heart sank and he was annoyed all of a sudden. This was not going the way he'd imagined it a thousand times in the past weeks. “I've done a few jobs while you were passed out, so don't worry about our bank account.” He got so mad now that he jumped up from the bed and wanted to leave the bedroom. 

Suddenly he was pulled back on the bed, Kylo's strong arms wrapped around him, holding him in a tight embrace. “Don't run off.” His gaze shifted to the window, then back to Hux. “It's nighttime and I just woke up. Don't leave me alone.”

“Since when are you afraid of the dark?”

“I'm not. I just don't want to be alone.”

Hux studied Kylo's face, the new scars were prominent, they healed well but were still dark red. With his fingertips he touched them gently, tracing along the lines. “Where were you all this time? I searched for you every day within the Force, but your body was like an empty shell. It was awful, I've never been so scared in my life to lose you.”

“You've changed, you're different than before.” Kylo looked intensely into his turquoise eyes and leaned in closer. “You finally accept your emotions. That's … that's …” He simply smiled and then his mouth locked with Hux's in an unyielding kiss.

Hux kissed him back. Next thing he knew, he was pinned to the mattress, Kylo all over him, never leaving his mouth. His hands slipped under his garments, touching his soft skin. Hux was starved, for months he was waiting for this and now that it finally happened he was overpowered by his feelings. Wrapping his arms and legs around Kylo, kissing him fiercely, taking in his taste and scent, tears ran out of the corner of his eyes. All worries and concerns of the last few months fell away from him and all that was left were lust and love. He wouldn't let go of him anymore, he wouldn't let go.

“Wherever I was, I didn't want to leave.” Kylo whispered in between kisses.

Startled Hux stopped in his motions. “You didn't want to come back?”

“No.” Kylo looked at his face. “I wanted to stay. But to be with you again now, to see and feel you … I didn't know how much I missed you until I laid eyes on you again.” Kylo whispered.

It stung in his soul and hurt in his heart to hear these words come out of Kylo's mouth. For a long while they just gazed at each other without a word. Hux searched inside Kylo, using the Force trying to find out the truth. Sincerity, deep affection, devotion, he found all this and it was aimed at him. The force-bond between them was stronger than ever and a warm feeling spread out within his body, reaching every cell and fiber, giving him the softest tingles and the strongest desires. Kylo did it, using the Force most improperly.

A moan rumbled in his chest when Kylo went down on him tearing at his pants and pulling them off his legs. Hux was bone hard by then, closed his eyes in pleasure as Kylo's hot mouth slid down his length. The sudden sensation was overwhelming. Hux clawed his fingers into the sheets and sighed and whimpered while Kylo used his lips and tongue in a way that made him forget what was up and down. Uncontrollably his hips darted upwards, one thrust after another, deep into Kylo's throat who obviously didn't mind. Quite the contrary, he adjusted quickly and took another one of Hux's thrusts, his big hands grasping his hips and pulling him even closer as if he wanted to swallow all of him. Hux screamed out loud, completely crushed by the emotions running through his body and by this man who was the only one that could make him feel this way. 

When Kylo let go of him and released his cock he looked at Hux with glowing eyes and a mischievous little smile. Hux felt another warm wave of tingles wash through him and trembled. Kylo's lips were parted and moist with saliva, his cheeks flushed. His long wild mane of black locks surrounded his face and he looked like a predator lurking for its prey. “You fiend—” Hux hissed.

“Did you really think I'd let you get away that easy?” Kylo's voice was low and hoarse and sounded so damn sexy. 

Hux was done by his sight alone. “Cut playing games and fuck me already,” he growled and tore at Kylo's shirt to pull it over his head. Finally there was so much bare skin which Hux could roam and ravish with his tongue, his fingernails, his teeth. Kylo clearly enjoyed it, the caresses, the bites and all the other things Hux did to him in his need for physical closeness, which he had lacked for far too long. The rest of their clothes quickly landed on the floor and the bed groaned under both their weight and actions.

Kylo was different this time. Rough, fierce and unrestrained he fucked Hux to the stars and back. Hux was only glad that the neighbors were kilometers away or else they would perceive noises most shameful and embarrassing. Kylo clearly also had some catching up to do when it came to his carnal desires and he definitely was in charge, using Hux's body for his seemingly endless pleasure. Still, he never forgot to make him feel just as good.

“Were you by my side all this time while I was unconscious?” Kylo wanted to know, his voice breathless, kissing the soft and sensitive skin directly under Hux's ear.

“I was,” Hux was barely able to answer with another hard thrust coming from Kylo. He was sitting on top of him, panting heavy, holding on to the headboard of their bed to steady himself. “I even fought with your mother to bring you here.”

Kylo paused a moment in his actions. “You did?”

“Yes, and I've won. Or do you really think I'd leave you somewhere where you don't want to be, where you don't belong?” He lowered his head to reach Kylo's lips with his tongue, slowly licking over them. “Don't stop, Kylo. Go on, please don't stop.” Hux was practically begging him to continue. How despicable this was, yet he couldn't help it.

But Kylo still didn't move. “Then, where do I belong?”

“You belong to me, dummy. Right here is where your place is and that's where you'll stay.”

“That's right”, Kylo whispered gently and started pushing into Hux again, his hands on his buttocks to guide him into his rhythm, rocking him relentlessly to the peak.

Moments later they lay on the bed, exhausted, all fours spread out. Hux was a sweaty mess. His hair stood in all directions and some parts of his body hurt, the skin on his butt and back was red from all the action. “Welcome back, my love,” was all he was able to say before he passed out from complete exhaustion. 

  
  


*

  
  


Kylo watched Hux sleep for a while. He himself wasn't tired at all since he'd slept for months at an end. Exhausted he was, yes. Satisfied and completely relaxed, oh yes. However, he felt confused and not really in the here and now yet. Why had he been in a coma? Something had happened, something he couldn't remember however hard he tried. Everything else seemed to still be there, his childhood, his parents, Luke and the Jedi Order, his time with the Knights of Ren and the First Order, Hux and how they simply ran off to start a new life together. The last thing he remembered was that he had left Hux on Coruscant, taking their freighter and leaving the planet. Though, why he left and the destination he just couldn't recall. There was a total blank in his brain until he woke up a few hours ago.

Kylo sighed and gently touched Hux's cheek with his fingertips, then his lips. Next he brushed a few strands of his red hair from his forehead. “We belong together, left everything behind that was in our way, just for this,” he whispered and placed a kiss on his forehead before he got up, carefully covered Hux with a blanket and went to the 'fresher. He absolutely needed a hot shower now.

After he'd showered Kylo looked in the mirror, saw himself and was shocked. He'd lost weight, his complexion was too pale and his hair had grown over his shoulders. Bite marks were everywhere on his neck and chest, as well as some scratches.  _ Hux, you little wildcat!  _ Smiling he sighed, grabbed for his shaver and got rid of the stubble on his face. Afterwards he took a leather cord, tied his hair back and slipped into fresh clothes. Black leather pants, a dark brown tunic and a belt around his waist. Finally, he put on his boots and went into the day room where he sat down at the desk and activated the HoloProjector, making a connection with his mother. When she answered and her slightly blurred and blueish holoprojection appeared, he saw her overjoyed face, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Hi mom,” he said.

  
  


*

  
  


A few weeks later Hux sat in the grass in front of the house, watching Kylo practicing with his lightsaber. It was his new double bladed one, with the red laser blade on one side and the blue one on the other. His moves were swift and precise, it was a joy to watch him. Hux knew it would take a while for him to be even half as skilled with his own sword. He caressed Millicent, the cat had snuggled up on his lap, purring softly. Since Kylo was back with the living he hadn't talked much, he was calmer and somehow changed, but in a good way.

Everyday Hux felt their connection, the force-bond they shared and he saw the love in Kylo's eyes, the love he felt for him. This was all he needed. Kylo Ren. They trained together, Kylo taught him the ways of the Force, and he showed him how to spice things up for them between the sheets. He'd never dreamed of having all this in his life. It was perfect.

Of course he asked what had happened and how he'd destroyed Sidious for good. Yet, Kylo couldn't remember a thing, which was fine with Hux and he never asked again. It was done, the evil wiped out for good. All that mattered was that Kylo was fine and they were together. Even though he was now the proclaimed saviour of this galaxy Kylo didn't give a fuck about it. He'd only done what he had to do, and that was that.

Like Hux he just wanted to stay here in the peaceful quiet of their new home, doing a job every now and then and taking care of Hux, mainly in bed. It was official now that they were partners with the blessing of the Force. Nobody and nothing could separate them anymore. It was something Hux never had, someone who loved him. He never had a family. Now there were Kylo and Leia and Han, and Hux—for the first time in his life—knew what a family was. Reliability, security and love.

Kylo finally stopped his training, deactivated his lightsaber and sauntered over to him. A moment later he sat beside him, patting Millie's head. Hux looked at him and smiled. Kylo smiled back, this beautiful irresistible smile of his which melted Hux's heart every time again.

  
  


**The End**


End file.
